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give me them all
and it begins
monday, january 3, 2011

today we received our first disconnect notice of the year. i've been expecting it since all we can do is round robin the utilities, and some of them tend to be harder to pay than the others. tomorrow i'll can and get a push on the date if i can. really, it's all i can do. saxy was offered only one day to work this week, and that won't even pay for his transportation unless he's already down in atlanta for school. we'll probably be able to get utilities taken care of in the usual manner this month. rent is a whole different story.

i'm trying not to think about it too much. for one, stressing out of it won't help much except to make me sick, and i really don't need that. second, i knew it was going to get harder this year before it got easier, but i am still hopeful that it will get easier at some point. so right now, all i can do is hope it will work out like it always works out, then do whatever i can to keep us fed, with lights and gas and water, and get the rent paid.

in another beginning, the younger kids are back in school starting tomorrow, thank god. taz is looking forward to it, and he'll probably come home with some gifts since he ended up missing his bus the last day before the holidays. i'll get up with them tomorrow to make sure they actually do get up because everyone's off routine and never made it back on at all last week. not particularly happy with that, but am definitely ready for them to be gone for a part of the day. the house has felt over full these past weeks, and it is much harder to write when constantly being interrupted.

i'd like the older students to be starting as well, but that's next week. :P

it really would have been nice if the disconnect notice could have waited a little longer. it's just a little early in the year to be starting the same old, depressing crap, but at least i can manage it (assuming the water company gives me the extension). one the other hand, thank god the kids go back early in the year. if things had to begin before the year really got going, at least the good and the bad balanced out.

and i promise, i won't let all the depressing crap take over the journal. unfortunately, i can't promise that i'll write more than i did last year. when survival is all you have going on in your life, there's not much point in writing about it over and over. but i will try to keep writing and keep it from getting too depressing.

knowing how hard it's likely to become, a little balance goes a long way.


word of the moment: anaphase

the stage of meiosis or mitosis when chromosomes move toward opposite ends of the nuclear spindle

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