wednesday, january 3, 2001
getting on track

i really am trying to get my schedule turned around so that it agrees with my up coming school schedule. easier said than done considering i have been up since 2:30 a.m. and it is now almost 5 and going back to sleep is next to impossible. i had my 5 hours of sleep, my body's done. getting up at 2:30 is just as bad as going to bed at 5, as well as gives a whole new meaning to being a lark. but i fell asleep around 9:30 last night after pulling another all nighter the night before. and here i am.

what i really need to do is go to bed around 1 a.m. (an hour earlier than my usual time) and try to be up by 5:30 or 6 (ug!) so i can leave the house between 6:30 and 7 to be at my first class ar 8. oh this is going to be good (can you just hear the sarcasm?).

for one i am an absolute night owl. the last few weeks are the first time in ages that i have waited until 3 or 4 or later to go to bed, but put me in bed around midnight (or earlier) and i stare at the ceiling for hours. assuming i can stay in bed that long. for a heavy set woman who doesn't exercise much i have a lot of energy. my mind doesn't shut down (which is part of my problem now: once i am awake i am pretty much awake and my mind won't shut down long enough for me to settle into a sleep). i think of things i need to do, i worry over bills, i think of things i'd like to do, and so on. usually all at once. of course, this awakeness doesn't mean i am actually capable of doing anything, just that sleep is out of the question. and i don't have any boring books except for textbooks which are just too big and heavy to attempt to read in bed. besides, being bored doesn't put me to sleep, it just makes me look for something else to do.

this morning my head got filled with font ideas for when i get fontographer. LOTS of ideas. not that i will accomplish them all, or even remember them all, but all these ideas are keeping the mind busy = keeping me awake.

whether i am ready or not, january 8 will require me to get up at some god awful hour. i think, by the time the quarter is over, i may finally have an agreeable schedule for school. only to have it change for the next quarter. there are some battles you just can't win.