over the last week or so i've had a very hard time doing much of anything that i'm supposed to on the comp. that includes editing work for lp (not that there's much going on with lp right now, but i do still have things i need to do there), dii, and even my own writing. off the comp, my revisions of a.c. have stalled, though work progresses nicely for phoenix 1. even worse, the harder i push on any of these things, the more i've wanted to avoid them and either sleep or play on the ps2.
i'm not even sure what brought this period of meh on. jewel has been a perfect house guest, for the most part, and even baby-sat one night so saxy and i could go out sans kids for the first time in a year. lp has been quiet, dii has been going along just fine. even my own writing has been clicking along fairly smoothly (well, okay, so chapter 23 required me to move some paragraphs around...TWICE, but, really, not as big a problem as it could have been, ya know?). youngest isn't happy about summer school, but she knows she needs to do it. taz has been doing okay and has even been getting to sleep by 1 or 1:30 a.m. trust me, this is pretty damn good for him. the only child having major issues right now isn't even here. i worry about her, but there's no direct impact on the house.
there have been a few financial things dragging at us, but nothing major. they seem to be slowly unwinding in the way they always do. the car is the biggest problem. since it didn't pass smog, we need to have $300 just in case the other part needs to be replaced. the biggest issue is that, since it can't pass smog, we can't get it insured, which means we can't get it registered. idiot man took so long to deal with the convertor that we ended up just doing it ourselves, but we're behind schedule. (now, supposedly, he's going to get us a washer & dryer. according to him, it HAS to moved this weekend. i expect we won't see anything for at least a month. :P)
the health stuff has been a concern, but i'm on my blood pressure meds and seem to be doing better in the areas i thought i would as a result (less thumping in the ears, a little less tired climbing the stairs to the bathroom -- even though the doctor said the bp meds would not have an effect on that). the bleeding has remained stopped -- which could be good or bad depending on when i do finally start again. but i am feeling like i could try to pick up my stretching again sometime soon, so i am feeling better all around, really. (i'd also like to try core rhythms. i like dancing, always have, and think this might actually keep me doing something even if i don't lose a ton of inches. really, if you're going to exercise, which you hate, you should try to make it something at least halfway related to something you enjoy, right?)
so, all in all, it really seems odd to be having this motivation problem. it's quiet all around. the only "new" thing going on isn't really new and the bp meds seem to be helping with that as well and that's the weather headaches. we've started hurricane season and had a whole lot of cloudy/stormy weather rolling through, but it's generally rolling through quickly and not really doing anything scary, at least not in our area.
however, even though it has been quiet and it doesn't seem like i should be having motivation problems, the truth is that i have been. so, at the urging of two of dii's other admins, i've been taking a bit of a time out. i still have the occasional lp thing to worry about, but i am otherwise not much on the comp. i check mail, read boards, read my lj flist, then go back to chillin'. i've worked on phoenix notes when i've felt like but not pushed and ignored a.c. altogether. i did one dii admin bit, but have otherwise left it in the others' capable hands. it's kinda odd to not be pushing to get something done, but, apparently, that's what i need right now. down time without pushing anything. the plan is to be back sunday. we'll see how it goes. i'm kinda enjoying just chillin', even if it means i'm playing more of the ps2 than i've done since we got the silly thing.
btw, whysper is now officially 8. i wrote my first 2 online journal entries june 3, 2000. it was actually something of an experiment. i really wanted to keep a journal, but was having all kinds of problems keeping paper ones. whysper has been going fairly strong ever since. even if i do take a break from it, for whatever reason, i always seem to come back. so i'd say the experiment is a smashing success. even if it does only have 3 readers. ;)
word of the moment: largo
a composition or passage that is to be performed in a slow and dignified manner; very slow in tempo and broad in manner; slowly and broadly