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sunday, april 30, 2006

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"Bridge of Wings -
Where He Waits"

Pui-Mun Law

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© Davide Guglielmo

it's been a long week -- too long of a week, actually. and it's not even like anything . . . busier than usual happened this week. it just sorta took over. everything sorta took over, from work on down.

and, yes, i know it's been 10 days or so. what happened to the rest of the week before, i have no idea. like i said, everything took over.

heck, most of the week before last, i didn't even work. the schools had crct testing going on and they need certified subs for that. since i'm still waiting for a damn job, i'm not even provisionally certified, so don't qualify. one school finally called me for just this past week -- a teacher had come down with food poisoning and then had complications, but they had someone else come in to administer the actual testing. so for half the day i was revising my novel, trying to get caught up with my challenges at dii.

we had a few stormy days, but, strangely, no headaches. no comp time either, but that's beside the point. i did play quite a bit of my star ocean, but i think i mucked something up earlier in the game and have just today figured out yet something else, so i may be starting over.

wasted time. seems like there's been a lot of wasted time this past week or so. that and sleeping. i've been really tired of late.

vagner is good so far. we're completely strapped for money, so we're still watching him, but haven't done the u.t.i. testing yet. as much as i love him, i need to keep our utilities on first -- and even that is looking like it may be a problem without help and fast.

i need that damn job i'm waiting for. this is seriously annoying -- and too far out of hand. we can't seem to do anything without tangling everything else up into impossible. for example, i have a new outfit for work that's good enough for job the interviews i hope to be getting this summer. but, as much as i need good clothes for work, i feel guilty about it. not that the money would have helped much since i do buy on sale, but still . . . .

and i need to get underwear soon too -- some of what i own is so holy it should be with god now.

a few rather screwy things did happen this past week, though. not just financial things, though that's in there too (and that stress is, i'm sure, one of the reasons i've been feeling tired and seem to have "lost" days).

a few nights ago i went out with jewel to the mall. i needed time out, and i decided to spend it with my daughter. we're having lots of problems just getting along right now, but i do love her and know that we occasionally need time without the rest of the family pitching in. we had a great time until it was time to go home.

the car. wouldn't. start.

nothing we did helped. the security guard tried to help. we called saxy and tried to do what he told us to do. nothing. so jewel starts calling friends to try to get us home. either no one answers or they can't help for one reason or another. i finally pulled money out of the atm and called for a cab -- was told 20-25 minutes. 30 minutes later, jewel makes one last desperate call and we have a ride. i will never call that cab company again. the good news is that the ride was willing to take saxy back to the car and saxy got the car started. no one had to miss work.

since then, money has been a big issue (forget the 2 added bills i mentioned; we're having trouble with basic needs here); the change in diet will probably tank this week; jewel and kitten have gotten in 2 fights; my brother wanted jewel to baby-sit (we thought) one night, ended up keeping her all the next day and the next night too; taz is starting this . . . i dunno, 'slow' phase where he drags his feet for everything (is this a boy behavior thing? should i be happy to see it?) froggy has brought home grades as bad as jewel's; and kitten is engaged . . . for the 3rd time in a year.

i could have sworn i raised them to know that they didn't need a man. i don't get it with either of my older girls -- they seem to have the attitude that they must have a boyfriend in their lives.

anyway, so, yea, long week. i seriously don't want to go to work tomorrow. but i need to. there are 17 days left for the year. (yes, i screwed up not taking one of those long term positions, thank you very much). 17 days split over 2 paychecks. i've missed 4 days on this paycheck already, so i might get $1400 and get our rent taken care of for june. my last paycheck might be $400, so summer is not looking good. i'm really hoping saxy gets some overtime and i get an interview.

i've heard that the principle school that pissed me off earlier this school year wants to get a writing class option for their connection classes, but i'm not holding my breath on being the choice after that mess. i need to take pretty much anything that's offered and is a reasonable drive from the house, but i don't think it will be offered. still, i'll be taking in a refreshed resume and the revised plans i had for the writing class. it probably won't happen, and i probably won't be in the running if it does, but i won't just step back and give in without even trying.

so if i don't get an interview (and not just with the above, but an interview anywhere), well, we'll just have to see what i need to do next. not sure we can even afford for me to take the high school language arts pII, but i have to get employed and at the same pay rate (about $10/hour) or better plus benefits.

regardless of what happens, more than likely the school district will lose a good sub just because no one would hire her full time, even though she proved herself more than capable.

like i said at the top of the entry, don't ask. most times, silence is a good thing on this journal.

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