monday, april 30, 2001
some days

there are the days when i come home and sit at the computer and life goes on around me like nothing happened. actually, that is most days. school was its usual, home is its usual. nothing spectacular, nothing out of the ordinary. there are the days when i come home and it starts out that way and then some kid or other gets in a fight with one of the other ones and we spend half the evening trying to keep the kids out of each other's hair. then there are days like today, where there is so much going on that i may be sitting at the computer desk but no computer anything is being done. today was a kind of information overload day. some of it has been building up from the last few days and all got finalized today, other things...well, you judge.

kitten, who may be changing her name online soon as she seems to be really out growing the kitten thing :( , is showing all the signs of busy teenagerhood. she is in dance, soon to be going into high school, just a busy girl. today she had to wait for me to come by so she could get on the bus home after a dance rehearsal. she had, up till today, tried out for 3 of the "special" dances for their next presentation and gotten into 2. today apparently she tried out for hip-hop but didn't make it. she also signed up to be a "duchess" at an upcoming dance, now i have to make her some kind of cool flier to get votes. tonight she goes out with a friend of the family's to get fitted in her dress for her dinner dance coming up (the event of the year, heck...of her life). she's growing up and i am trying to learn to let go. even though i have been one of those parents who, in a sense, forces her kids to make age appropriate decisions, but letting go. man, this is a hard one. thank goodness she is still my girl and needs hugs and loving from me. not ready for the totally teen attitude.

then, i finally get in the door and saxy says, "the new management down at laidlaw is hiring next week." uh...whaaaa???? he's seriously considering it. he'd have to get a release from his doctor to work. going back to school would be limited to maybe 2 classes a week if that much. scheduling headaches (when do i go to school, kids out one month out of 3 so who would be here then and how), just so much to think about in reevaluating employment versus school. but i also know how much he has hated not contributing to the household. he could hold off school until i am done, but that would be at least 5 years. then there's the whole issue of whether or not he wants to work there again. pay is better ($10/hr versus the $7.50 he was getting when he was let go) and the old management won't be there. and then will they even hire him? it's a lot to go into this one decision, really is, and a lot of it we have no control over it. the management being gone is a big bonus as he didn't have all that much trouble with his fellow employees. then there's the whole issue of work. out here there is none. if he wants to work at all in the next few years, this may be it. everything is closing in our area. in not too long we're going to have several hundred people fighting for the worst jobs because that is all there is. still, it's mind boggling he's even thinking about it and more mind boggling just considering all the variables that needs to go into the decision. whatever he decides, i will support him and work my own schedule around it. as long as his mr. hyde doesn't make an ugly appearance again, we can deal with it.

then there's my game. good lord, that thing has been up in the air and has been so close to shelved it is not even funny. had players, got things started then didn't have players. waited weeks on players, almost gave up on players. well, as of now i have 3 definite new players i haven't even met, my 3 original players and one newbie. now, i doubt, in all honesty, that the newbie will even show. he's the one that had all the excuses for my workshop (he finally got the piece to me today). this now means i am back to work on the game, have to clean up my gamer guide a bit, have to finish a dungeon and all that stuff. this time we'll be going every other week, which makes it easier on us school kids. ;)

life became a lot more overwhelming over night.