just . . . tired
saturday, may 06, 2006

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i need this weekend. it's not like anything particularly horrid happened this past week -- just the usual stress, but i've been tired. really tired. and, for some reason, i'm not sleeping too well either, which isn't helping with the being tired. in fact, it was a good thing that i was working at froggy's school all week since waking up was so hard to do. you'd think it would take longer than a week to be so tired -- vacation wasn't that long ago.

it's not been a horrific week, the usual stresses haven't gotten any worse. we are going to have to wait for disconnect notices to pay most our bills if only because that's the only way to make a payment and get the rest pushed back without having to jump through hoops to do it. if i do any of it now, the companies out here kinda flag the account as having already made a payment arrangement and then you need a supervisor or something to be able to do it again. at least for one of the companies. at any rate, so, as much as i hate doing that, that's what we're going to have to do, and i'll admit to being a little avoidant of the checkbook and bills this past week as a result.

the new diet is hit and miss at the moment -- when the money is there, we plan and eat accordingly; when it's not, we buy what we can afford and try to work around it. saxy is keeping in mind the smaller portions, however, and i've been doing a pretty good job at not using salt on most things. i'm still struggling with sugar intake, but i'm not really targeting it yet. there's a lot i have to change to make this work -- meals, late night snacks, salt, sugar -- and i'm giving myself a chance here by doing it one step at a time. i just wish it wasn't so damn expensive. i've also been taking my meds pretty much like i'm supposed to, including my multivitamin, so the weekly pill scheduler thing is doing its job. (i leave it under my monitor most of the time, so i won't forget.)

work hasn't been particularly stressful. the 8th graders were stupid monday and tuesday, paid for it thursday, and are probably only going to get worse from here on out. last 13 days of school -- a total of 2 1/2 weeks when you count the weekends -- that's all we got left and kids tend to get nuts the last couple of weeks. i expect my work days will drop too, since i seem to have completely screwed up by not taking either of the 2 long term positions offered to me. however, i am hearing about quite a few changes in staff at at least 2 or 3 schools; hopefully i'll get picked up full time for one of them. i'll be taking my updated resumé out next week after we take jewel in to see taz's doctor about possible meds and a few other things we're looking into.

speaking of which, miss jewel has a job. she'll be working at an ice cream place out here, weekends until school's out, then we'll see what happens. she was part of a couple of unexpected extra expenses this last week (some of which, i freely admit, could probably have waited): she needed kakis and white tennis shoes. the job will provide her first t-shirt for free. her first training session is today from 1 - 3pm. she already knows she has to pay back what we spent on her uniform and that she'll need to give us a percentage of her paycheck. she's not particularly happy about that last bit, but she'll manage. it's about time she realized how tough it is to make the money go round sometimes.

we also got news that we might be able to at least cover the optometrist through our insurance. they may not cover actual glasses, but at least the problem is half taken care of. we found this out because froggy has an eye infection and needs to see an ophthalmologist (versus the optometrist) because of some possible sight issues that may have come up. i'll probably take care of that appointment the day i run around with my resumés as well.

as for the unexpected expenses, my mother's day gift and saxy's father's day gift are both taken care, both under $20, and i picked up a new small presses book (since the one i have is 2 years old). we also had to buy 2 new tires for the car and it looks like a 3rd is about to go. sometime this weekend i have to refill 2 or 3 meds as well, which isn't so much unexpected as bad timing. i need paper and ink, but i think both can wait at least a week. i'm not writing enough to warrant immediate purchase, and not working a long term position that would require me to use more than i have of them either. i may even try to wait until the ink drains dry before buying replacements. and vagner seems to be doing okay, so we've not done his u.t.i. test yet. since that will cost as much as the auto-insurance, we'll delay that expense as long as we can. if there was a serious problem, i'm sure it would have made itself apparent by now.

so, see, not a particularly bad or stressful week at all. we're broke, but that's normal and it's not like we didn't get anything out of it. we're keeping up with the new eating habits even if we're having to wing it a bit. after completing my dii challenge last month, i didn't touch my writing for a couple of days, but i've since revised a poem and an article (both which i plan to type today). i am looking forward to my summer months off, even if it means no paycheck. i miss writing all day. i miss being able to work on my websites when i want to. but neither of those is a reason to be as tired as i've been since i get to do a little of them during the week. i do need to clean my office again, but that's not unusual.

so, really, the world is unfolding as it always has, there's a little hope for the future, and there's time to do the things i like to do even if i would like to do more of them. there really isn't any reason to be as tired as i've been this past week. hopefully i'll recover this weekend and not be so tired next week. if not, well, i'm almost sure i won't be working the last 3 days of the year. so that gives me pretty much a week or two of being in the classroom rather sporadically, i'm sure, then a whole 2 months to recover.

unless, of course, there's interviews. lord knows i'll probably worry myself into staying tired if i get any of those. but at least then i'll have a reason for being tired and not just be tired like i am now.

or something like that.

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