as noted in my previous entry, there's been some setbacks this past week. not only did our internet go down, but we've had a hard time getting my son's adhd meds (not a major big deal—the fluoxetine would be far more worrisome) and may have trouble getting him to his appointment next week (rent will probably take every penny we have), our bank account went deeply in the hole, and now saxy's bike is having issues with the tires. and until rent is paid, we can't do anything about any of it (which, yes, becomes problematic for saxy to get home from work). a few weeks ago, all of this would have just been that much more stress and pressure. life was...crushing me. so much bad, such a bad year—it's just difficult to keep your head up when everything else is down and weighing you down with it.
but while i'm upset about these things, even concerned about some of them, i'm not being beaten by it. saxy has a job. a job that's local. a job that he can get to, even if getting home is a bit more problematic without the bike. we can get out of this mess. it will take time and we have to ride the waves created by months of round robin payments, but we can get there eventually. even the bad timing of the bank snafu isn't as bad as it could be.
i have hope. and that's everything right now.
a car would really help though. ;) in the meantime, we have to figure out a way to deal with the bike since sinking more money into transportation just isn't an option right now. (and, really, if it wasn't so necessary to do just about anything out here, i'd not get a car. but nothing is local, and we need one, as the problem with getting taz to his doctor's appointments and saxy home from work shows.)
even though the financial end of things is looking like a crazy scramble for the next couple of months, other things are looking quite good.
the job is going very well so far. he's been noticed in positive ways across the board, and the managers are impressed. this bodes well for keeping the job. ;) he's been doing prep (and we're amazed at how much of the food is frozen—red lobster may not be fine dining, but it is somewhat high end, so, yea, shocked), some work on the line, and expediting. the only one he's really worried about is expediting, and the training wheels come off after tomorrow. but i have faith in him. he'll do fine. and, yes, he's already learning quite a bit about how things are done for this level of a restaurant and what he wants for his own place when he opens up. he comes home tired but happy. or at least a whole lot less cranky than he used to. ;)
i'm continuing to lose weight—2 1/2 pounds this year so far. i'm at my plateau weight (the weight i tend to bounce back up from) right now, so i'm really hoping i can actually get past it this week. i've been doing these sitting stretches in my bed—i do them right when i wake up and again before i go to sleep—and they're helping with the weight loss and a few other things like my back. it's so nice to be able to shop without leaning on the cart for support or to do dishes in one fell swoop instead of having to break it up because my back hurts. and the stretches are no pressure, no stress exercise, which is really a good thing when you have some of the issues i have. i'm hoping to hit 6 times a week am and pm by the middle of february, then i can add one day at my core rhythms again. with saxy working, i can find a time when there's no embarrassment involved without throwing him into the cold garage. ;)
i also purchased a planner to use as a food journal, and that's helping A LOT. i'm really surprised at what i've learned my first week with it. good stuff about habits and how i need to eat to keep on track. for example, i need a light breakfast or it throws me off for the rest of the day and i go over on food groups (particularly carbs) and calories. a light meal in the morning helps set the tone for the rest of the day.
the new novel is going okay, as well. it's in the "hate stage", but i'm working through it, getting more connected, and think it has a bigger chance than assassin's does at this point in time.
things are still tense in the house. kitten, in particular, seems wound tighter than usual. she's exploding at the littlest things, and i'm worried about her. froggy is still at her old tricks and not doing well in school and stealing while convincingly denying it. i'm tired of dealing with the problem, but it's not like she can go anywhere. she's more than likely blown her chances at her dream school/major. nothing's worked and she's 17, so i'm trying to just let it go. as for kitten, i'm hoping that getting back on our feet will help her unwind a little. with saxy making a decent paycheck every week, there's a little less pressure on her to keep us afloat.
so life is up and down, which is how it should be, i suppose, but the downs are no longer so...killer. the mood in the house is changing some—i'm doing better than i was (and i can actually feel the change emotionally), and saxy is busy, tired most of the time, but a lot less cranky. so we're doing better in a lot of ways already. we're dealing with life's craziness better, so even when there's a down, we can still look up.
and i like looking up.
~*~
word of the moment: shebander
a harbor master, or ruler of a port, in the east indies
