thursday, january 25, 2001
out of focus

for some reason i had an incredibly hard time focusing on anything today. i didn't go to class because i felt out of sorts. i figured i could use the time to catch up on some homework. it didn't quite work out that way. i just couldn't seem to get myself focused. i was easily distracted and jittery. i can actually understand this when it comes to the myth and metaphor reading and homework. the class is driving me nuts and i would rather be doing anything but dealing with it. but i am anjoying the other two classes, comprehending the reading and feel pretty comfortable. and it wasn't just homework. i found myself losing my concentration during conversations with my husband as well. i just really wasn't "in" today.

which also goes to show that the welbuttrin isn't doing a thing for me.

the shakes are back, although they don't seem as bad this time. so's the queasy tummy. saxy and i are going to sit down and try to list any changes that may have occurred, as well as things that haven't changed, so i have something concrete to take to the doctor when i try to get my meds changed. i do worry how the medication hunt is going to affect my schooling. taz had some real hard adjustments when we were trying to find something for him. and those adjustments did affect school. we had bouts of irritability, loss of control, and lack of focus. those problems could have detrimental affects on my grades. hopefully we will find something that works with a minimum of difficulty.

there was one really nice side effect of being home and so distracted. i got to spend some down time with my saxy, and i think i really needed it. it was nice just to be held in his arms. it felt comfortable, it felt right.

maybe that's just what i needed today.