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tuesday, july 1, 2008


june was quite a month. and, if past whyspers are any indication, july will be quite a month as well. in fact, it's already looking that way. and there's just so much going on....

for starters, the physical crap. i started another bloodletting in the middle of june, and it's still going on. according to my tests from may, everything is about normal except the iron, which is what we expected, and the uterine lining, which is 4cm thick. he's put me on birth control for therapeutic reasons. in other words, the progesterone worked to stop the 3 month monster, so it seems to be the right step to get this under control. apparently my body is taking a page out of its understanding with iron production: it remembers the estrogen just fine, but has forgotten all about the progesterone which gets everything to stop in a timely manner. so, on the pill and have more testing to be done.

the most bizarre things about the 3 month "period"? there was no indication i had ovulated.

one other issue came up during all the testing he had me undergo: i have to go in and have an ultrasound on my left breast. the mammogram revealed some "density".

i'm trying not to think about it too much. right now, i can tackle one physical thing at a time. i'm going in as ordered, just otherwise ignoring it. i have to or i'll be in a panic.

as for july, i have 3 more appointments scheduled and the doctor did another blood test. however, i may need to add a fourth appointment. seems my blood pressure meds are not bringing my blood pressure down enough. it's been so stressful that the situation might be playing some havoc with it all, though, so i'm going to wait until i see this doctor again and find out what my b.p. is at that time. if it's still elevated, then i go back to a family practice doctor and look into getting the dose upped.

but the craziness does not end there for us. because of the tightness of finances, we've had a few things come up that need to be taken care of but that we've been unable to do anything about. one of these was the car. now, part of the problem is my husband's trusting a guy who is a flake. another part of the problem is said flake who says he can get repairs and all this stuff taken care of for us for cheap, and then never follows through. i swear, we'd still be waiting on the converter if we were waiting for him to do what he promised to do.

well, now things can't wait any more. we need to register the car. to register the car, we need to repair something else and try to clear smog again. and, of course, said flake knows someone we can get the parts from cheap and someone else who can do the work cheap. saxy, concerned about money, buys the part and then waits the whole damn weekend for the flake's said mechanic friend to be free to work on it. doesn't happen. which means saxy is out of work monday because we can't risk the car getting impounded. saxy talks with flake sunday afternoon and pays him $25 for a paper tag that's supposed to give us 30 days. flake promises to put it in the mailbox for us sunday night. did he? of course not! does he answer his phone at all on monday or bother to call back? of course not! and now saxy is home for the second day in a row because this idiot can't follow through with what he says he will. and he has $25 to boot that we can't use to repair the car.

i finally put my foot down and told saxy no more. i don't care how much money this guy says he can save us. it does us no good if he won't follow through. right now, i'll pay for timeliness and my husband being able to work. all this means we have to use rent money to take care of the car and hope to god that the landlord understands that without a car the husband can't work, and without work nothing gets paid. and when it comes down to it, as far as i'm concerned, flake is a thief. we paid him $300 once for something else and he never came through on it. he finally "applied" it to what we owed on the car. what the fuck ever. now he's disappeared with the $25. and he wanted saxy to give him another $100 for the repair to be handled this week. uh, no. quite obviously he's soaking saxy for money. lord knows if any of that money would have made it to the mechanic's hands if we'd paid it. the man smokes pot and my bet that's where the money has gone, if not to other drugs as well. so, no more. we'll pay extra for the security that the work will get done and the money will go where it's supposed to go. period. i've even told saxy i'm not comfortable with this guy coming around any more. he signed the car over, so there's no reason to deal with him.

and, oh yes, there's more. kitten has had a real hell of a time recently. her marriage has been in free fall for some time now, but it's gotten worse of the last month or so. trin's abuse has escalated to physical. he's threatened her with all kinds of crap. he's drinking almost every weekend, meeting other girls at various places and claiming to be "available", and not taking his responsibilities seriously. he bought $35 of groceries for her and the baby and told her they'd have to last 2 weeks...after spending $300 on a new cell phone and plan (instead of paying off the old cell phone bill and just getting that reconnected) and another $300 on tattoo removal. his behavior is erratic and irrational and has been noticed by his supervisors. he wants kitten out of hawaii, but the concern is any court dates. she could lose everything if she's not present, so she's been hanging on and trying to get through any paperwork they need to do...only he needs to fill it out and file it and wouldn't do it! she's not seen a doctor since the baby was born a year and a half ago because of fucked up paperwork he refused to fix. his most recent idiocy? he threatened suicide just to get her out of his life. (and, no, i don't take this threat seriously; he knows she still cares about him and is using that against her.)

this week, everything finally came to a head. with the suicide threat, kitten finally called his n.c.o.'s and told them everything that's gone on. her story, couple with the irrational behavior those working with him have seen, got him pulled in for counseling. (his claim? she got him in trouble. the man refuses to take responsibility for his actions.) he was told to stay away from her, and was ordered to get to work on all the damn paperwork that had to be taken care of, including what she needed to be seen by a doctor. he was also told to get his act together and start paying his damn bills. unfortunately, to do that, he has to let go of the apartment -- they have no money to pay the rent if he's going to follow orders. this means she has to be out of there because she can't go to the barracks. so she will be here friday, baby cat in tow, when we can least afford the extra mouths. it's just screwed that he's had months to deal with this as a reasonable human being and has refused to do so. supposedly things have been put into writing -- what he'll pay in child support and alimony and what else he'll take care of. kitten says they're going to go to jag together to sort out the paperwork, which will then get filed and mailed to her to sign, but i don't see how this can be done before thursday, which is when she leaves hawaii. i really hope his idiocy doesn't come back and bite her in the ass.

her first few weeks or so are going to be tough here, but we'll make it through. we always seem to manage somehow. first step is to get the damn car taken care of so saxy can get back to work without the threat of the car being impounded. and we've got to do it asap if we're going to pick her up from the airport on friday.

i don't think i've had so much crap collide at once quite so dramatically before. we'll manage, but, as the title says, just...wow. surviving all this deserves something. too bad we're too broke to afford anything. :P


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emitting light as a result of being heated; characterized by ardent emotion or intensity or brilliance
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