let's get something straight from the start: i love my kids. but every parent has their limits, and i am so seriously reaching mine. i honestly have no idea what to do. nothing is working and i'm really at my wit's end. i'm at the point where, if i could, kid #2 would be going with her sister back to dad's because i'm pretty much fed up with her.
jewel has always been my touchy child. she had problems as a baby and seemed to have a natural disposition toward the less enthusiastic to begin with. she slept a lot, and was never at all much for the people who came to visit her. she seemed to lose some of that as she got older, but always the more sensitive of the kids. she never needed much in terms of spankings - just looking at her would set her off crying. up until recently, that was a blessing. yea, she needed discipline now and again (what kid doesn't?), but it was never a huge problem with her.
she is sullen, argumentative, must always have the last word, she stirs shit up only to start crying when called on it. she is driving us batty and turning the atmosphere in the house sour as lemons on a bad day.
i realize jewel is in that stage where teens are trying to push their boundaries, trying to discover who they are, find their own limits, and so on. we went through similar stuff with kitten, just not to the extremes we are with jewel. nothing we tell her has any merit. everything is a battle. and her favorite whine: "i forgooooooot" has gotten more than old. she doesn't even try to remember, doesn't even try to be considerate, doesn't even try to be or do anything. it can be the same shore she's had to do everyday for freaking years and she forgot . . . again. she walks into a room talking and doesn't get it why we're upset that she has paid no attention to the fact that people were already talking. we try to talk to her to correct behavior, and she gets waspish and always, ALWAYS has a smart response or excuse. everything with her is argument and excuses, EVERYTHING! and forget teasing her.
eventually we get tired of just trying to talk to her in a decent tone of voice and get angry. then she rolls her eyes and argues even more, and the tears start, and she puffs up her cheeks and sets her mouth in this line. the child . . . the girl, is plain downright disrespectful to everyone. and she tries, oh god does she try, to have the absolutely last word.
i don't get it. the girl is smart. she is not stupid. but she can't seem to shut her mouth. she has to be right. she has to argue. she has to have a smart ass remark at exactly the wrong time. and when she gets in trouble? "WHYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEE???????!!!!!!!!!!!" at the top of her lungs. and when you explain why? more excuses, arguments, and smart ass remarks! she doesn't know when to shut her mouth so she doesn't dig in deeper, and she certainly can't leave anything - not even things that have absolutely nothing to do with her - alone.
she can't even accept a gift without complaining about it and starting some shit. she can't say thank you - she acts as if anything given to her is her just due . . . and it should have been better. she doesn't wait for a person to finish speaking before she buts in with her comments, not even for explanations. she acts like a two year old and has fits about not being given more responsibility and freedom.
and i have about had it with her. she's souring the atmosphere in the house, turning other people surly because her behavior is so disrespectful, angry, bitchy, whiny, and sullen. she can't see the good things around, there's always something wrong.
and i have no idea of how to deal with it any more. we've tried talking to her like an adult, talking to her like a kid, grounding her, rewards and consequences, and just about everything except beating the crap out of her. i would spank my kids when they were younger. they turned 10, and that was it. and there were strict guidelines to those spankings. we've always explained out answers: "no, we can't do that because we don't have the money;" "no, that wouldn't be a good idea because it goes too late;" "we really need you to do this because . . . ." and so on. and, yes, i had trouble with kitten at this age, but nothing like this.
anyone want a teenager in need of an attitude adjustment? i have one i'm willing to give away . . . .
(no, really, i do love my kids, even jewel; but she's on that edge with me - and i am seriously coming to see why some parents end up throwing their kids out of the house . . . and she's not on drugs or anything. sigh)
|word of the moment: poignant
painfully sharp to the emotions or senses; deeply moving; arousing sympathy