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ummm . . . yea
tuesday, february 1, 2005

no, really, i meant to write. not that i had or have anything earth shattering or totally interesting to say, but i did mean to. i wanted to, anyway. but i ended up being too tired. i pretty much slept most of saturday and probably half of sunday.

but i did want to write about things like . . .

why are some habits so much easier to acquire than others. for example, my whole effort to take care of myself in little ways is working. i've got this routine down just before i go to bed. my feet are doing better, my hands are doing better, and my face no longer looks like i'm half lizard and molting. i'm still working on the sugar and salt - i go through these nasty phases. for awhile i cut them back then something sets me off and i binge. it's terrible and i've got to work on it. the meds i'm doing good at taking on the mornings i work. now i just need to take the few i need in the evenings and to take them on weekends. a step at a time - it will all come eventually, right?

so, why is it so hard to get into the habit of exercising. forget about losing weight! i'd just like to be healthier, stronger, less likely to collapse when i climb my stairs . . . and less likely to think of going upstairs as climbing.

and i wanted to write about our weird cats and their taste for meringue cookies. don't worry, they only got flakes, but vagner tried to run off the tub a few times. meringue cookies have nothing in them - eggs, vanilla, and sugar. that's it. and it's not even whole eggs, they're made only with egg whites! what the heck is in there for cats to like? but they do! probably a good reason not to buy them . . . along with the cutting back on sugar.

then there's the kids' reactions to the ice and snow this weekend . . . and my husband's reaction to driving on it. georgians are as weird about snow as californians are about rain. they know they're going to get it, but it trips them out every time. none of these people could live in ohio, i'm telling you. less than an inch shuts the place down. ohio can get that in 5 minutes on a good winter day.

speaking of weird, my body really needs to make up its mind on what its doing with the period this month. i spotted for a day. stopped. spotted the next day, then stopped for about a week and a half. then i spotted for a day. maybe i need to trade in my current state of menopause for one that's more complete.

and i wanted to be all happy about having 90% of my books on shelves! they aren't real bookshelves, for the most part, but converted kitchen cabinets someone didn't want, but they work. all my paperbacks are out, my gaming stuff, my writing books, the few software books i've kept, my anthologies from my english classes, my magazines. they are all saved the agony of vagner's claws by no longer being in the boxes he likes to sharpen his claws on. and now i share my office space with hubby who built a desk from the remaining kitchen cabinets and shelves and put his pc on it. we moved the dining room table where his temporary computer space was, and put a small breakfast table in the breakfast nook for the kids. it all works out much nicer, but, for some reason, i think the animals start freaking whenever we move furniture or boxes.

more recently i wanted to vent about photo places that first don't send the silly disk, then send it but with the best pictures all messed up. my fave image from the collective soul show got butchered on this disk. can't these people get it right? it's bad enough they forgot to put the disk in in the first place, but to literally cut 2/3rds off a perfectly good picture (and we know it's a perfectly good picture - we have both the negative and a double print to prove it) is just a little too much. anyway, the cs show pictures that are supposed to eventually appear on this site are again delayed while we take the disk back and end up diskless yet again.

yes, we need a scanner, why do you ask?

and then there were the usuals - the lack or writing progress, the subbing stuff, family stuff in general, web stuff, the fact that i've finally applied for the collective soul fan listing (like anyone would care but me), and so on and so forth. bunches of little things.

but i ended up not writing at all. why? i caught my husband's cold. and added a low grade fever to it. which tells me why i've been pretty tired for the past few days, and which also explains the sleeping like i've turned bear.

being sick sucks. we'll just leave it at that.

word of the moment: soul

the immaterial essence or substance, animating principle, or actuating cause of life or of the individual life; the psychical or spiritual principle in general shared by or embodied in individual human beings or all beings having a rational and spiritual nature; the psychical or spiritual nature of the universe related to the physical world as the human soul to the human body; the immortal part of man having permanent individual existence; a person's total self in its living unity and wholeness; a seat of real life, vitality, or action; an animating or essential part; a vital principle actuating something; man's moral and emotional nature as distinguished from his mind or intellect; the quality of expression that effectively presents or arouses emotion and sentiment; a manifestation (as affection, generosity, charity, sympathy) of the moral nature; spiritual or moral force; human being; one having a good or noble quality in the highest degree

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