i recently started trying to do little things to take care of myself better. i've really begun to feel my age . . . or maybe it's the old age creeping up on me, and i don't like it. not so much the graying hair - i could dye that if i really wanted to but why bother? some of it is appearance related, but not because i'm really dissatisfied with the way i look. sorta. a lot of it has to do with the menopausal changes going on - the way my skin seems to be changing and things of that nature. others have to do with being out of shape, anemic, and having health problems that just seem to be getting worse. mostly it's just feeling like crap lately - tired, sick, and sore all the time.
anyway, i know i can't leap into the big stuff. weight loss only goes so far before i bottom out on it, literally and figuratively. exercise and i don't get along, especially right now with the pain i've been in. no, i need to work on little things that can still help me feel better and provide me with little successes to build upon.
nothing encourages like success!
so, i've started with using moisturizer on my face every day and every night. something to help with the flaky skin that's suddenly showing up. i also do muscle tightening in bed before i go to sleep. not quite exercise, but can't hurt, and makes a good start. from these two i plan to build up to the big stuff - reducing the sugar and salt in my diet, exercising a little, losing even a little weight. i also need to work on just putting my cream on my feet when whatever it is that is giving them trouble flares up. and to not try to remove the dry skin around my fingernails.
nervous habits can die hard, but i know it can be done. i chewed on my fingernails for years - since i was a kid, and one day i decided i had to stop doing it. i wanted nice looking nails. it took me awhile, and i occasionally backslide, but i did eventually quit. if i can quit a habit that i've had since i was a kid, i can kill a few habits i haven't had even half as long. right?
and i do mean for it to build up to working out a little, improving my strength and endurance. being able to see my toes over my belly might be nice too, but right now i'd make do with not getting tired whenever i climb some damn stairs. or not coming home exhausted from spending the morning - not the day, mind you, just the morning - shopping and spending time with the family out of the house. hell, we didn't even do that much - a bit of brunch, target, and a couple of places in the mall - and i came home ready to crash for another few hours. i lost my breath climbing the mall stairs.
i could say it's because i've been sick, and i'm sure that's a part of it. but it's also me. i am a writer. until i got this subbing job, i sat every day at my desk typing. not being into exercise, i didn't work out. my joints are already bad, especially in my knees and ankles, and i have a bad back. exercise seemed like the last thing i needed to be doing. it was boring, it hurt.
and now i'm paying for it.
so, for me, it's time to get myself back. i won't be as healthy as i was at 20, but i'm sure i can make my quality of life better. i just have to take one step at a time as i try to take better care of myself, and one day the big steps will come. i hope.
site of the moment:
ring/clique/fl of the moment:
word of the moment: definitive
serving to supply a final answer, solution, or evaluation and to end an unsettled unresolved condition; fixed and unalterable in opinion or judgment; most authoritative, reliable, and complete usually with the implication of final and perfected completeness or precision -- used of research, scholarship, or criticism especially of a biographical or historical study or of a text or edition of a literary work or author; serving to define or specify precisely; distinguishing; exact, express, and clearly defined; real, actual, and positive; definite; complete; fully developed; final; issued as a regular stamp for the country or territory in which it is to be used