today i talked to linnorm on i.m. and he mentioned that kitten would be baking cookies this year. while i generally love christmas, i had pretty much accepted that it's a no go for us this year . . . until he mentioned baking cookies. for the last couple of years i've baked cookies for a few friends locally and for our christmas dinner with saxy's folks. this year we can't afford to bake cookies, much less have anyone local to give them to beyond immediate family.

somehow the fact that we'll be sending out christmas cards this year isn't going to make up for that.

today has otherwise been quiet, full of writing and movies. it's odd to both have the time and be well enough to spend time writing. i've either been too tired to be at the pc longer than maybe a half an hour to an hour, or too sick to even think straight, much less write, or both. i actually wanted to get to some of what i started today last night, but i ended up falling asleep. in the middle of playing final fantasy x. with my son still wide awake. and my daughter working on laundry. all of which are things that usually keep me awake by themselves, but last night couldn't keep me awake when combined. fortunately the motivation stayed with me and today i finally started typing up the revisions to a chapter that were done nearly a week ago.

while i typed, hubby went and deposited a check into the bank, bought himself some tennies, went grocery shopping, and stopped by the video rental place. later this week we pay for the car registration and then dump the majority of what's left after my check comes in to the rent for this month and next. the catching up is happening, even if a bit slowly.

i also went on a net hunt for a new backpack/shoulder bag. my favorite "purse" is finally starting to go after 5 or 6 years of use. i adore this thing. lots of organization and pockets - even pen and pencil slots in a front pouch (along with other smaller pockets and spaces), lots of space, very sturdy, and very much worth the $50 i paid for it back then. it's black with suede trim. the lining is finally starting to tear after years of being used as a college bookpack and purse, years of being my main purse that i carry with me everywhere i go stuffed full of the usual things plus my writer's notebook, files of stuff to revise and crit, books to read, and so much more. this thing gets big and heavy when i go out. currently it also carries my 1", packed full binder with all my subbing info and materials. and now it's finally starting to get torn.

i went looking on the site of the manufacturer and they only have one bag even remotely close anymore . . . and it's not what i want. i guess i'll have to hold a bit of money back from that massive rent payment that's coming up. then i can hit wal-mart and target and a few other places and try to find a bag that i like. this will be a hard one knowing i won't find the same bag i have now and it's the one i want.

i even tried to convince hubby to switch bags since he has the same one and doesn't use it all that much. no go.

i am sooo not looking forward to this hunt. during christmas. when people are crazy nuts out there looking for christmas gifts they should have thought about at least 3 or months ago. being constantly reminded of the holiday that we can't really celebrate and all the insanity that goes along with it.

okay. all i'll miss is the cookies.

and that bag. :P