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give me them all
saturday, november 5, 2011

yea, saxy's been bitten by that bug any student gets when near the end of their program: senioritis. you don't even have to be a senior to get it.

i know for saxy, some of it is that end of the program exhaustion. you're just so close and all you want is to be done with it all. and the classes annoy you. and usually these are "upper level" classes, so the homework is heavy and not all that simple. and you're tired. and good god, can you just be DONE WITH IT ALREADY!!!

yep, remember those days. both times.

but there's more to it for him right now.

one of the biggest things is our financial situation. we still may not be able to pay rent at the end of this month (we should be able to cover a chunk of it, but all of it? not seeing it right now, though that could change). we've been eating on $50-75 every two weeks. not a lot of meat coming into the house. we bought fruit for the first time since summer this past week. i'm still robbing peter to pay paul, and the school isn't getting paid at all. the past due there is scary.

making it all harder for him? he's suddenly getting A LOT of offers for side jobs. j.e. has builders who liked saxy, and he's had a few things come up where he can offer saxy 5 or 6 hours for a day or two each week. a school friend has indicated a few other on call opportunities at locations where she works, and may even want to hire him for her business when she opens it. the holidays are finally starting to hit and his hours are going up in his current job, leaving little time for homework that he's really not interested in doing anyway.

as a result, he's been talking about dropping the quarter and going back later, and i've been threatening to smack him upside the head a few times.

really, this is it, his LAST term. does he need a degree to continue on and do well as a chef? no. there are a number of self-taught chefs and chefs that have been apprenticed in the industry from the ground up that are among the top chefs in the country. BUT, it would still give him a step up, as well as something to be proud of. and we all know that if he leaves, he's not likely to go back and finish. it's just harder to go back. it was hard enough to get him back into school after he left riverside community for a lot of the same reasons he's contemplating dropping now. only this time, he's doing really well and would lose all the momentum he's built since he started. he NEVER got a's at rcc. up until last quarter, almost every single class he took, he got an a. his gpa is phenomenal. and we are so very proud of him.

then there's the sacrifice. we've all had to sacrifice for him to do this. leaving now, when he's almost done, when it's almost over, devalues that sacrifice. even the older girls sacrificed, even though they didn't stay on till the end. and there's only 5 weeks left! it's not that much longer!

i'm really trying to pep talk him, to remind him he really doesn't have that much more to go, and he doesn't want to throw it down the drain. he can do this, despite the pressure, and we can make it a little longer. i think he's a little discouraged by the fact that he won't get his actual paper degree until we pay off the school (yes, seriously; they won't even confirm him as a graduate until he's paid them off 100%, a ridiculous practice, if you ask me: he completed the program, that's all they need to say), but, really, screw that. he will have finished it. and these last couple of quarters have included a lot of additional pressure, and he's still doing it! paper or not, it's something to be proud of. he really can do this!

and like i said earlier, i will smack him silly if he gives up now.

senioritis, my ass. he better check that crap at the door and keep on moving. :P

(btw, fortunately, even his boss agrees: finish it! they'll change his schedule to accommodate, so he damn well better get his butt in those monday classes! lol)


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