today was actually pretty quiet, in a nice way. kitten and baby cat were off with her friends for most of the day (although they did make one major return trip loaded down with a bed for baby and bedding for mama...among other things, and another return trip with finished laundry and a few other small things -- i tell you, the girl will revive the economy through her friends all on her own!), saxy watched football, froggu worked on chores, and taz sat with saxy for most of the day. it was almost as good as an empty house. even better, everyone pretty much left me alone to unwind and do my own thing, something i seem to need on a regular bases, especially when i start getting overwhelmed.
and it really did give me a chance to tinker with my usual stuff. a crit posted, a chapter revised (one that i've been working on for months...literally), and another batch of cookies made without being under the pressure cooker of yesterday's massive baking craze. among the things in the larger drop off, kitten brought me some new, non-stick cookie sheets that i wanted. we had one of the cookies not turn out so well yesterday and i was hoping a non-stick sheet would solve the problem. it did. so, all in all, it's been a successful day of this and that -- things i wanted to do without a whole lot of rush behind them. and once this whysper is up, i'll have made all my goals for the day. i have no idea when the last time was that happened.
and i feel better. like i've recovered some of my equilibrium. i don't think the whole out of control thing is over yet, but maybe, just maybe, it's starting to chill a little. i think i need goals -- plans for the day, things to aim to get done. they just seem to help me get through a day better. i'm more focused, less drifty. and while it works to have a lot on my plate waiting for me to get to it (which just seems to help keep me going), being in a pressure cooker to get it done definitely does nothing more than overwhelm me and wear me out.
really, you'd think i would have known these things about myself, but, other than the goals making it easier for me to get stuff done, i didn't really. life hasn't been as crazy as these last few months. hell, life hasn't been as crazy as this past year. and maybe i knew them subconsciously. when i first was diagnosed with adhd, i realized that i must have found a way to manage it as a kid without being aware that i had it. of course, the anemia blew that all to hell. lol. but the point still stands: we don't always know everything about ourselves.
today though, i got to tinker with stuff, my own stuff, stuff i wanted to tinker with, and learned about myself too. i call that a win.