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yes, then no, then...
wednesday, october 29, 2008


there's been a lot of back and forth going on in our family lately. the most obvious one is the financial mess. when saxy first started his job, it looked like we were going to take care of things fairly quickly. then came the company's "that's not what we said" and we realized things were pretty screwed. last week, saxy was looking over his records and figured we weren't going to be as good as he thought, but we'd be okay. but yesterday when he got paid, it ended up not being quite okay because we had to buy food before the check came in and we ended up being down more than expected. and the company shorted him about $100.

we really aren't sure what's going on with these people. do they really think saxy's going to buy he was off in his mileage by enough to be off by $100? or are they just used to guys who don't keep such good records and call them on it when they screw up. this is the third check in a row "missing" money. either the person responsible for the checks is horrible at math, or they use some really whacked out way of figuring things. either way, they need to stop messing with our money. i'm sure they'd not like it if someone messed with theirs, you know?

anyway, so now saxy has to go back to them again and ask how they figured things so he can figure out where they mucked up their accounting and exactly how much he is owed. and then he has to ask them to issue a check for that amount. we really need that money, so i hope there's no excuses or claims that he got what he's due. like my husband, i don't understand why they have the drivers keep a record of mileage if they compare the mileage from the driver's log to that in their records to determine payment. this whole company seems upside down and out of whack. but without any other jobs out there, and the economy rapidly getting worse, saxy can't walk away either. we just hope standing up for what he should be paid won't result in problems.

of course, if it does, we've got our plans for dealing with the mess. we just hope it doesn't go that far.

another case of the back and forths is kitten's expected landing date. originally, she was going to be out here this past summer. her soon to be ex even bought the ticket. but then the airlines started canceling things left and right and her flight was among the cancellations. still trying to go for command sponsorship, there were all these appointments she had to make -- doctor appointments and whatnot, and trin was cooperative one day and not so much the next. (really, this guy has proven to be such an asshole, it's just amazing.)

finally everything looked settled for an early november arrival. then he turned in some paperwork that required her name on it without her signature and did several other things, and all that blew up...and the truth came out about a few other things. kitten had reported certain events to trin's co's, then she'd call and renege saying it wasn't that bad. turns out trin was threatening her, so she'd call and not press charges, so to speak. it's been a real mess. he's threatened her with taking the baby, taking away her support, all kinds of crap. he claimed he'd put in the divorce paperwork, she never got served -- turns out it got kicked back for some reason. he's threatened to go to a lawyer. he's just turning this whole thing into a nightmare for her, while one day being the nice guy and the next being not so nice. and, yes, i am well aware that this is the usual pattern of an abuser, although he never apologizes for the pain he puts her through -- you know, that "honeymoon period" that abusers use to keep the victim off balance. ain't been happening of late (and, yes, it did happen when he returned from iraq).

anyway, her finally reporting him had the unexpected fallout of canceling her trip out. see, trin was going to buy the ticket himself and not do the command sponsorship because he didn't want to lose the baq she was earning him by being the apartment in hawaii. yes, this is cheating the army. with her finally giving the whole mess up, they had to go back to the command sponsorship. it turns out the sponsorship has been signed off on, the person responsible for it was holding onto it, though, until it was determined exactly what was going on. with trin talking about getting a lawyer involved, kitten made an appointment with jag and that wasn't going to happen until november 17.

and that's how it stood until she received a subpoena from the landlord for $1500 that trin had failed to pay on the rent. now she will literally have no place to stay and has to be out of there by the 1st. so she should be here no later than the 2nd...we hope. my only concern is the divorce mess. it sounds like trin is filing in such a way as to make sure she's screwed over. since she can't stay out there to represent herself in the case, there's not going to be much she can do. saxy's pretty certain that it's not going to matter what happens in the divorce: trin will not send her things out, and he will eventually stop paying child support (his interest in his daughter has been sporadic at best). i'm not sure he's too far from wrong, though she does have recourse for the child support through his co's as long as trin's in the military. it's after he gets out that it will become dicey.

so much 'yes, this is going to happen; oops! no it's not; then again maybe...' going on for this family right now, it's just too much.

really, the title of this entry probably should be "this year has sucked", but since the entry doesn't cover the entire year, and that's been pretty obvious, we'll just keep the yes, no, yes. even though there's only two yes, no, yes/maybe situations discussed here, there's been a lot of little stuff falling into the same situation, most of it along the lines of yes, that's fixed...oh, maybe not.

i'd really like a yes to just be a yes again.


word of the moment: virgate

having the form of a straight rod; wand-shaped; straight and slender; a yardland, or measure of land varying from fifteen to forty acres
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