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recovering
saturday, july 19, 2008

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i didn't mean to drop off the face of the earth over the last week or so; it honestly couldn't be helped. because of current stress factors, among other things, my recovery has been a bit on the slow side -- i expect it'll be another week or two before i'm fully on my feet. this kind of works since my next appointment with my doctor is on the 29th. gives me plenty of time to get back with it so he can give me a clean bill of health.

the whole week up to the d&c was a bit of a nightmare. i was bleeding again, exhausted, and stressed about saxy not working. when we went in for the pre-op, my blood pressure was back up a bit, but everything else was okay. there was some concern about our insurance since i had updated our visitor status that day, but i was told it would backdate, so the surgery should be covered. i couldn't eat that night, and i couldn't sleep that night either because of the bleeding, so you can imagine what a nightmare it was...and how huuuuuuuuuuungryyyyyyyyy i was by the time we even got to the hospital. then the surgery was delayed by 3 hours or so because the doctor had to go perform 2 c-sections! (babies; they decide what they are doing and when -- which should be a warning to us long before they are born!) i suspect i was pretty easy to put out since i was beyond exhausted by that time.

the doctor told us while i was in recovery that this was definitely the right call. apparently the lining was maturing at different rates, so some of it would slough off while the rest stayed, then that section would get more lining while another section would slough off. he put me back on progesterone twice a day to counterbalance what he thinks is an abundance of estrogen in my body, and it looks like i'll be on it for some time since he has 2 refills on it.

as for me, i felt tons better despite all the post-op crap, and even better the next day. my only complaint right now is all the sleep i seem to need. never before have i needed 10 hours of sleep a night, but i do now! it seems to slowly be getting better, and i know it will take time to recover all my old energy and whatnot, but jeeze! 10 hours? PLUS naps during the day for awhile there! just an insane amount of sleep. saxy stayed home with me on friday, but went to work on saturday and let froggy take care of me, which was fine. she's really good about taking care of her mama. ;) for most of that weekend, the only time i was on the comp was to check mail and skim a few lj entries. i promised to be good and not push it, so i tried to be good and not push it. i'm still trying not to push it, it's just getting harder to be good. :P

both saxy and i got back into the thick of working this past monday. i've been working part days -- mornings only. i get girlo up at 6:00 to go to summer school, so it made sense to work once i got her out the door to about noon. after lunch has been rest and nap time. i've done no real personal writing: i'm way behind on stuff for lilley because of the surgery, and i've been too tired to use my afternoons to do anything other than stare at the tv or doze. for most of the week anyway. friday the schedule changed because froggy's no longer in school. i slept in to 9:30 and worked most of the day, not getting off the comp until after saxy came in from work. it's been good. i'm getting caught up, but managing to take it easy as well. i did seem to push it a little much on wednesday, so i rested more on thursday, but i've otherwise been okay. the pain in the belly is almost completely gone -- it flares up if i'm up and around too much, but doesn't seem to have a problem with computer time. so, even though the recovery is slow, there is recovery, and the surgery was a great success.

unfortunately, we got another shock this week: the car is a total loss. saxy finally got it in for the diagnostic and it will cost $1600 just to fix the one thing that's hanging up the emissions test! that's more than half the amount we paid for it! not only that, the cylinders aren't the only problem. we're looking at several thousand dollars to fix a car that was only $3000 to begin with. this vehicle has lasted us only 6 months. we're both appalled. and we don't have the $1600 to repair it anyway, but saxy needs a car. period. no car, no work.

so he's looking into buying one on payments. surprisingly, the carmax people said he could put $2000 down and pay about $250/month. we were quite surprised, but i guess we should have had a clue when we were offered cellphones without having to pay a $500 deposit each. problem is, we don't have $2000 any more than we have $1600, nor do we have anyone who would co-sign, which would save us the deposit.

add to all this that the disconnect notices are starting to come in, and you can see it being just...crazy for us right now. we need a car for saxy to work and get us out of yet another bad luck hole, but we can't even afford to finish paying off our rent.

the one bit of good news in all this: saxy's father has decided to step in and help out with getting us a car. as much as we hate having them help us yet again, we don't have much choice. without a vehicle for saxy to get to work, we're out on the street. as it is, we may be losing most of our utilities before we get out of this mess. remember when i said that we were one of those families where it wouldn't take much to make us homeless? well i can now tell you is all it takes is him being out of work for 3 or 4 weeks.

through all this, though, we've also been blessed by friends who care. one is starting to send us care packages with food. another sent us a small amount of money. and everyone is pulling for us to get back on our feet. the love and emotional support helps in its own way, you know? especially with this recovery. it's slow because of the stress, but all the love helps keep me going.

right now, all i can do is keep working for as long as i have the net and electricity. saxy and his father has until the end of the month to take care of the car problem. after that, it'll be a slow recovery all around as we try to get the stupid utilities caught up...again.

*sighs*


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word of the moment: effervescent

giving off bubbles; used of wines and waters; charged naturally or artificially with carbon dioxide; marked by high spirits or excitement
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