into the abyss . . .
thursday, may 3, 2007

again. *sighs*

mcat is "letting" saxy go. he says that the mexicans are taking over the industry, he's having money issues (so you fire the lowest paid employee you have?), and that saxy's just not "getting it." apparently saxy made a mistake at a house he was working on last week. BUT other who have worked for mcat have made mistakes and not gotten fired for it, so i suspect that has nothing to do with it. what i suspect is that, not understanding why i'm not working right now, he's trying to push me back into work. he did tell saxy at one point that if i stopped working, he wasn't going to "help" anymore.

there's obvious bad to this -- he was the one job in the house at the moment. however, i've contacted a few schools and i've gotten booked to the end of the school year. so, we'll be solid on rent for another month. food? utilities? well, we'll see, but i suspect shit's going to get cut off before we can completely salvage the situation.

but there's good too. saxy has hated this job because of the way mcat treats him -- like a servant. or worse. he's gotten no respect from me brother from day one. mcat has treated him like shit, acted like saxy's his personal bitch or something. he just pays him, and lately those checks have been late or bounced and cost us redeposit fees, or both.

but the other guys on the job like saxy. they know they can trust him to do as asked, without delaying (if he's not involved in something), without questions. saxy's generally pleasant to be around, reliable, and works as hard as he needs to -- harder sometimes. mcat makes him go all over the place, has him pay for crap and says he'll repay him, calls him after work hours, and all kinds of shit. (i mean, that stuff doesn't even cover the treatment -- the attitude -- mcat gives him.) saxy also earns the least out of the men he has working for him - maybe $500/week instead of the $1200+ of the other guys. at least one of these men has been caught smoking marijuana on the job . . . and mcat fires saxy?

see why i think something else is up?

i told saxy not to accept it if mcat offers the job back. we aren't playing this damn game with him any more. saxy already has a lead on a possible evening job (which is what he's going to have to take if i'm working so someone's here to get kids on their buses and when taz gets home), even if that doesn't work out, he sounds like he's already making his plans on job hunting. in fact, i suspect the unhappiness in his voice when he called wasn't so much that he wouldn't be working for mcat but because it means he's not supporting his family. it's been tough, but we've scraped by, and now that looks less likely to be the case. the big problem is going to be keeping afloat until he gets something. right now, food and housing alone cost us at least $1400/month -- and that's really skimping on the food and other grocery type costs (you know, tp, soap, other necessities). utilities run another $500, give or take. my $80 a day ain't going to do much to put a dent in all this. hopefully the lead saxy has will work out. summer's going to be a bitch without his construction income, though. unless i get hired ft/p, we're in for a real hard 3 or 4 months, at the very least.

one piece of good news in all this. i called my schools, well, 4 of the 11, and am now booked till the end of the year (the 23rd).

which only reaffirms that we'll make it. we always do. and at least now i have the option of telling my brother to bite me when he's an asshole again. i doubt it'll come up, though. i think we're more than likely going to have next to nothing to do with each other. all we got to do is replace the damn truck, then we're done.

somehow, survival or not, that sounds good to me.

word of the moment: shibboleth

catchword or slogan, a word or phrase frequently used, or a belief strongly held, by members of a group that is usually regarded by outsiders as meaningless, unimportant, or misguided; common saying or belief, a saying that is widely used or a belief that is widely held, especially one that interferes with somebody's ability to speak or think about things without preconception; identifying word or custom, a unique pronunciation, word, behavior, or practice used to distinguish one group of people from another and to identify somebody as either a member of the group or an outsider

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