no breath holding
wendesday, august 2, 2006



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"Bridge of Wings -
Where He Waits"

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Pui-Mun Law



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it has been a very crises-less week so far. not necessarily quiet, but very pleasant. and, no, i'm not holding my breath that it will continue to be so, but i really am enjoying it. honestly, the worst i can say so far is that it needs to stop raining and my databases need to settle down and stop eating stuff (i plan to eventually take the stuff it's eating and use a different software for it, but i don't want to do all that work until it has indeed settled down).

i'm not sure what the 2 months on her own did to her, but it seems the pod people who absconded with the original jewel, replacing her with the ever combative miss thang, have decided to return her. the last week and a half have been extraordinarily quiet -- sorta. really, i have 2 kids born with words randomly and constantly flowing from their lips, and jewel is one of them. she walks into a room talking without trying to figure out what anyone is doing (and, as a result, we tend to miss half her conversation). this constant ramble hasn't stopped, but, i think we've had maybe one fight that got anywhere close to the doozies before we set her free. there's been no stomping, no slamming of doors, no screaming, no walking out just because she disagrees with what we're doing, nothing. she is having to do some readjusting back to old rules, but she's doing it without turning it into a major scene.

not sure what the last 7 or 8 months have been about, but it's nice to have her back.

and, no, not holding my breath on this being permanent. just saying that, so far, it's been nice to see the kid that disappeared somewhere around christmas last year. froggy still worries about her leaving and not coming back, and taz asks about her when she's gone, but that's to be expected on both counts. overall, it seems she's making a real effort to get with it here. she's also trying to make some smart decisions about work and school and finding her balance. maybe she needed to have her rebellion or something; i just would have thought it would have taken longer. she says the money stuff is what brought her back into the fold, but that seems a weak argument to me. whatever shook her up, it's just nice to see the sweet kid emerging again, even if it's just a little.

in other good news, the blood tests that the doctor ordered all came back normal, even the iron. not that i'm going to stop taking my multivitamin with 100% of the daily recommendation, but it's nice to know i don't need to be taking the extra 174 mgs either. unfortunately, i'm afraid the brain may end up remaining swiss cheese, but we'll see. anyway, went back in today for another blood pressure check and it's still too high, so she upped the dose of one of the meds and i made an appointment to see her next week, plus i made that appointment for the physical. i'm sure her first statement will be something like, "you need to lose weight." well, uh, duh, but it's not feasible right now. get me a ft/p placement, a regular schedule, and a steady financial situation, then we'll talk. but otherwise, there's too much on my plate to deal with, and not enough money to buy those nice, healthy for you foods i need. (personally, i would love to change our eating habits for the better, but it's very costly to do so, so it's gotta wait until we can absorb the cost and not have our finances go into convulsions.)

speaking of financial convulsions, we are getting back on our feet after the check disaster of last week. kitten sent us $450, which we used for things we've needed and just haven't been able to find a way to cover -- taz got clothes, saxy got work shoes, i got under things, etc. yes, we still have rent and utilities and car insurance to worry about, but we put over half taz's ssi into the checking account, mcat is adding $400 to saxy's check friday to cover the bounce fees, and saxy earned himself a nice $650 check for the week. plus he should get some money from a friend who he helps with getting checks cashed. this financial abundance won't last, i know, but it's good for now. we took time out as a family when we got kitten's money, did the shopping and ate out. and we had fun, something we haven't had as a family in awhile, it seems. i mean, there was laughter, only a little bickering (the girls), and . . . and it was wonderful. i came home feeling refreshed, recharged even!

the icing on the cake? saxy called me yesterday afternoon and asked if i wanted to go to a concert. my response to anything -- activity or object -- that will cost a lot is, "with what money?" his response: the tickets he'd just won from dave fm. so, in two weeks we'll be off to see melissa etheridge in concert. this is the second set of tickets he's won from them. kinda cool, huh?

and today? i went into the bank to transfer taz's money into the checking account and handed in my atm/credit card. i asked about getting just a atm card (i think we can do without the credit card -- too easy to rely on that to bale us out when the finances squeak) and was told that all we have to do is stay out of the red for 30 days. granted, i think it should matter that this time wasn't our fault, but the bank isn't going to see it that way. i'm just glad they'll send us a new one at all so saxy can get gas and other things he needs for work more easily. and i think the 30 days will do us good. it's not like i need the card to pay for the utilities -- we get bill paying for free with online banking.

tomorrow, the boy turns 14. 14! can you believe it!? no wonder we're having such attitude issues with him! 14, linnorm, 14!!!! anyway, he's already been quite spoiled by dad and kitten -- shorts, shirts, socks, underwear (including his first boxers), a spiderman cap, 2 belts. he's pretty much set for the rest of the heat wave and then some, i think. linnorm said he'd send a bit more either this month or next, and we'll use that to start making a dent in his school clothes needs (the kid will probably fit his pants in the waist for next to forever, but the length? nope. he needs jeans and nice shirts for school). (which reminds me, we need to speak to linnorm about the upcoming school supply run, oh my!) the poor kid doesn't have an older brother for hand me downs, so we do have to buy him new stuff frequently. the only upside to him being such a thin, small kid is that he stays in his clothes for quite some time. anyway, he's been spoiled for the birthday already (probably the only boy i know who loves getting socks and underwear in his presents), but tomorrow, he really wants cake and ice cream, so i'll have to see what we can manage. ;)

so, we've had a pleasant week so far. the fridge is full, we only have 1 threat of disconnect (which will be handled after the rent is paid friday or saturday), everyone got something they needed, we all had a wonderful time out together. kitten has also sent us 2 boxes of goodies that we're looking forward to either later this week or early next week. i'm not holding my breath that this lull in the usual struggles to get by and all the emotional trauma that goes with them will continue, but it would be really nice if the second half of the week at the very least stays out of the toilet. though, i gotta admit, another couple of days like the last few days wouldn't be all that bad either.

definitely not holding my breath on that one!



word of the moment: creativity

imaginative ability: the ability to use the imagination to develop new and original ideas or things, especially in an artistic context


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