upheaval
tuersday, january 28, 2020


things seem to finally be settling some health wise: sinuses are still a mess, but the pleurisy seems to be better, and i'm experiencing fewer headaches, for the most part. i've even had a couple good days of getting things done.

but of coarse it can't always be smooth sailing.

hub's schedule is in flux at the moment. things at the eugene job are changing: fewer days, no more overtime (which is how we were managing to get by because regular hours just didn't cover it), and scheduling changes that have changed his days off. and he still hasn't settled into a regular schedule at the new job at alma buckhead.

and that's left us in upheaval here at home.

we have a pretty regular schedule around here. it mostly helps taz, who needs routine. it helps with his anxiety, it helps him remember to do his chores (well, sometimes; at nearly 30, he's finally entering full-fledged teenagerhood developmentally, which means he likes to "forget" chores...and alexa doesn't always help). he's very aware of schedule and routine changes. he asks why people are home when they're not supposed to be (or vie versa), and stims more when we go out unexpectedly even if it's for a good surprise. i've learned to give him some kind of head's up a few days in advance, even if it's just a vague "we'll be going out on friday" for a surprise. upheavals don't work well with him, so i'm a bit worried about saxy's schedule changing. we've had some recent temper outbursts from him recently (likely reactions to saxy being in the hospital and things like that—he can't express that he's anxious or why he's anxious, so it often shows up with acting out and outbursts of temper when he's corrected), and i'm a bit worried we might see more. we'll deal with it, of course, but his outbursts result in concerning behavior. fortunately, he doesn't get violent, and he usually gets past it in a reasonable amount of time (then needs comfort because HE hates feeling out of control too).

and to be fair, a regular schedule helps me too. when i was younger, i didn't mind randomness in my life. but now days, it's just easier for me to make sure to get things done if i schedule them in advance. and for lifting, some kind of schedule is a good thing since muscles need to breathe a day between workouts, which is probably my biggest concern when it comes to upended schedules. i can always move when i clean the kitchen or film or whatever (though having a regular filming schedule keeps it from taking over my life). but getting my lifting habit back almost requires it happen regularly for at least 4 months before it gets upended too much. it's hard enough to establish a habit or routine every day. a vague three times a week is even harder to establish.

hopefully things will settle pretty quickly, and we'll be back on some kind of regular schedule. saxy is much more enthusiastic about his career right now, if tired because his schedule is so much up in the air, and the extra money will cover the missing hours at eugene and then some. so we'll be in a better place when everything finally falls in place (or even before), but we have to navigate the changes first, and it's early in this transition. just had to tell the kiddo tonight about a day change for one of our chores and warn him that things might switch around a bit for awhile.

i'm sure we'll manage our way through yet another upheaval life seems determined to through at us lately. it's just how much stress will be going on through it and how the kid handles it that are the concerns.