why so tired?
thursday, april 12, 2012


i expected to be tired the week we moved. even under the best of conditions, moving's a bitch and exhausting. packing, traipsing, unpacking just take it out of you. and distance doesn't matter: i've done moves in the same city and moves across country. whether you use a u-haul or a bunch of friends, moving is just one of those things that tires you out no matter what.

but over that first week in the house, i was starting to feel better in general. i could breathe, i was waking up without feeling like i had to crawl out from under a wet blanket, and my energy was up. i started to put my old routines in place, routines that hadn't been that big of a deal in the house where i was having so many health issues. and i added a few things. i haven't done full house cleaning in years because of said health issues plus a bad back and bad knees. my legs hated those stairs. the rest of me hurt attempting to do just about anything else. i did dishes every night and was grateful even for our lumpy bed because i REALLY needed to lay down when i was done.

to be honest, there wasn't much incentive to fight my allergies and other problems to clean the other house. even if it was top to bottom clean, it didn't look like it. it was dark, the carpet was dark, and it just never seemed to have any brightness about it. i had family over for the holidays, but i wasn't exactly happy about them being in that house. it was an embarrassment, even when clean. and the dust, mold, and bug problems only made it that much harder for me to find any motivation to do anything. actually, it was hard to dust because i'm allergic to dust. and the holes in the place (from huge gaps under doors to ants being able to get in through electrical outlets) didn't help with anything. i've complained about the utilities there, but the bug and dust problem was just as bad. there was no way to keep heat/air in and no way to keep bugs and dust out.

in the new place, i'm working on a bit of housework every day. i'm having to do things in stages because i still have physical limitations (and pain), but i'm making the work part of my daily schedule. and i feel good about it, and my energy is still up.

but i'm having a hard time with my old night schedule. i've been a night owl all my life, getting up in the early mornings only when forced to. my best creative time is between midnight and 3 a.m. or thereabouts. but even this second week, after we're all moved in and most of the unpacking that can be done is done, i've been getting tired earlier and having trouble staying up. and i kinda need to stay up because i just don't get up well at 5:15 a.m., which is when taz needs to be up for his bus. it's better for me to be getting ready for bed about then. and it's been frustrating to me that i'm having such a hard time making it past 3:30 because it was so easy before and now it's not.

and it took until today to figure out what the heck was going on: i'm doing more during the day now, so, yea, of course i'm going to be more tired at night. not sure why that evaded me when i first started getting irritated with being so tired at night. i mean, i used to be completely self-sufficient because i was a single mom and a student and all that, but my health issues have made me less so, so it's not like i should expect that i be able to do everything again right from the get-go. but apparently i do. for some reason, i expected to be able to jump right into this new stuff and not have too many issues with it (i did expect to have pain problems; and my back is definitely NOT happy with this work thing i'm doing). it's a silly expectation, so hopefully now that i know why i've been so tired, i'll give myself a break.

i'm not going to stop with it either. one, the house cleaning needs to be done, and hubs is working two jobs while taz just can't take on a full load like that (even if he could, he wouldn't do as good a job as i'd like). the boyo has been stepping up since his sisters moved out, arguing less, doing more, but a whole house, even broken up, is a bit much for him. for two, it's just a matter of adjusting to the new level of activity. besides, i'm burning as many or more calories just doing house work as i was when i was stretching most days. (I've had to skip stretching most days because of the pain and being so tired and because of the hardwood floor. working on fixing that last problem; the exercise mats should be here no later than monday.)

and just so you all know, i'm not the only one who's been tired. ;)

the boys sunning



ororo on HER chair