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give me them all
where is the time going?
wenesday, march 30, 2011

no, seriously, where the heck is all my time going these days? seems like i'm perpetually behind and never getting everything done anymore, and i honestly can't see that i'm doing any more than i did a few years back when i got more done in a day than i even attempt these days. is it the winter hanging on—them gray skies do tend to have a not so good effect on me. maybe i'm losing a half hour with every pound i lose...which will mean trouble for me pretty soon!

but seriously, it just seems of late that i don't have enough hours in the day to get everything done. course i know age is playing a part if only because my sleep schedule has changed enough to take a big bite out of my day. i used to do okay on four or five hours a night, and actually had trouble sleeping much longer than that. now days though, i need a minimum of seven hours, and it takes me at least an hour to get moving when i do wake up no matter what time it is. that alone has tanked at three hours from my available time. not put in the 30 minutes to an hour a day in exercise, plus me feeling well enough to do more around the house these days, and i've lost five hours of time i used to put into writing and other things. don't get me wrong, i'd rather be healthy than as exhausted and sick as i was only a few years ago, but i want my missing time back too!

i suppose i should be glad for the preparation for the days when i really won't have time. once saxy opens his restaurant, time will be scary scarce. fitting in my writing around helping him, much less getting housework and the like done, is going to be a challenge and a half. my hours should be a little less than his as front of the house manager, but not by much. and then there will be all the time when we are home discussing the place, going over the books together, and everything else. it's probably my only dread when he's ready to open his own place. i'm otherwise excited to see what he'll do, taste the menu, and watch his dreams come alive.

but speaking of all that, i know i've pretty much lost a whole day a week to his job/school schedule. used to be all i'd do is pay the bills online. didn't take me long before i was doing my own stuff. now i'm doing more of the grocery shopping, extra loads of laundry, and making dinners at home four or five days a week. not whining about it (okay, maybe a little; i've gotten used to spending my time on my projects more than on things for the house and the family), but all those things take chunks out of my day that i used to have. dinners alone probably take up three to four hours out of the week.

i'm also pretty sure the lingering winter isn't helping with this time thing. overcast skies and me don't get along—they make me really tired and slow and unmotivated. and we've been having a lot of them lately. i'm also beginning to suspect i'm getting arthritic. granted, our mattress is the mattress from hell—the springs are dead, deep valleys, lots of places where there are holes and springs poking out. it's no wonder i wake up achy and sore. but recently, the soreness has gotten worse, and not just in my back. my ankles and knees hate me, my hands are stiff. it's kinda sad that losing weight can't counteract these old age changes.

so, i guess i've answered my own question about where the time's gone. when saxy's out of school, i get a little bit of it back, but i admit i don't always use it wisely. i supposedly had a week of some of my time back, but it's not quite worked out that way. saxy was out of the house watching ferrets for four days. and monday, the whole things begins again...classes start and his schedule, when counting in work, looks brutal. we're already planning late weekend dinners so he can cook at home and work on his recipes and skills.

somehow i have to find a way to do more in less time, but at least i have time. looks like the last couple of quarters before graduation, saxy won't have any time at all.


word of the moment: sanderling

a common, small shore bird (Crocethia alba) related to the sandpipers, having predominantly gray and white plumage inhabiting sandy beaches

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