one week until tax return day (assuming it's on time). and, no, those plans haven't changed...yet. something could always come up between now and then, but not yet.

but saxy has decided against the new position at the crap company. apparently, the way they dispatch is just too aggravating, something we probably should have figured out just by the way they send him off willy-nilly without an rhyme or reason. from what he says, there is a method to their madness, but lord help him if he can figure it out. the one thing he's sure of is that he'd come home in a cranky mood more frequently if he took the new position. and that's saying something for him.

the one thing saxy isn't always aware of is his mood. oh, he knows when he's not in a good one, but he's not always aware of how it affects everyone else in the house, or even of the fact that he's taking his bad mood out on us. it's one of those things that almost got us divorced a few years back. he does a little better with it now and finds alternative things to do to help reduce his bad mood or finds ways to not be in a place to take it out on us, but it's still a problem. he's not always aware of his tone of voice or how his attitude can hurt us. he does understand we don't deserve the backlash from a bad day, he's just not always on top of how he expresses his frustration, irritation, or anger. so him saying he knows that the new position would cause these problems is a really big deal, and something that can't be ignored.

he did apologize for not taking the new position, but i told him that it was fine. i know he's not happy with his job anyway, and putting him a position he hates even more is not worth an extra $100 a week, especially since we're heading into the months where he could possibly make even more than that. yes, i would have liked the stable paycheck, but i don't believe it's worth it to put him a worse mood at the end of the day to get it. it's not like he'd be earning even minimum wage for the hours we're looking at (for that, the pay would have to be a little higher, and weekends would have to be worth more than $50).

i did discuss changing plans with the tax return with him -- getting him the tools he needs and paying his workman's comp so he could go back into construction. once he wasn't working for mcat any more, he was happy with that job, liked the people he was working with, and got a decent wage for the hours he worked. the taxes were a bitch to deal with, but that's about it. unfortunately, the condition of the housing industry makes him too nervous to take me up on that. he did appreciate the offer, but decided against it. maybe if housing gets back on track, we'll use next year's return to put him back into it. i don't see this driving job getting any better, and i'd really rather have him happy with what he does. he wants to look at other transportation companies, he just hasn't had the time, especially lately since he's been coming home at 8 pm.

so, for now, we're back at the status quo -- hating this job but glad he even has one and hoping the company doesn't go belly up before he can find a better one. it'll be tougher to stay on top of things since the base pay is lower, and the company seems to be doing everything it can, from reducing actual miles driven to disqualifying or reducing payment on some trips, to keep him at base pay, but we'll figure it out. we always seem to manage to do at least that much. okay, so we're perpetually behind, but not usually as bad as it has been since the few months of unemployment last summer.

beyond all that, there aren't really any other changes right now. kitten is still working her crazy job, i'm still editing and waiting to earn out enough for an actual check. good thing i love my job. we may have a future change in the wings since trin is now out of the military and there's a huge question of whether or not he'll make his agreed upon child support payments...or any payments at all (he's trying to claim she owes him money now). she and i have already discussed how we'll adjust her agreement with us if that happens -- i don't want to take all of her paychecks to cover things, although i will admit it doesn't seem to matter. his child support pays her portion of rent, utilities, and food, and she still puts in more money from her checks and tips as needed. she really is a good kid and understands we're all in this together.

which is something i hope never changes.