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not over yet
tuesday, september 2, 2008

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last month had to be one of the toughest months ever. hell, this whole year has practically been on down hill slide...without breaks. oh, there's been a few highlights, but for the most part it's been one long bad.

and it's not over yet.

as of now, saxy has been unemployed for 6 weeks or so. we've pretty much run out of anything that can help with the situation, and i'm almost positive if we don't come up with at least half the rent by the 15th, we're looking at an eviction with no place to go and no money to get us into even a hotel room, much less an apartment or a house. and, with the animals, the house is what we really need.

we did take some of our money on the first and filled up the car, and today saxy will be using that gas to go job hunting. he's filled out over 2 dozen apps online, and now he's got to hit places that don't take online apps, and go out as far as he can go. in the meantime, i'm calling the gas company and going to try to get an extension on paying our bill. i don't see that happening, though, because we already have an arrangement for the next 6 months that took the last huge bill and split it up and added the payments to the new charges. if we're late on paying, that whole bill that was split up comes due at once and we'll still end up disconnected. but i have to try -- hot water is a nice thing. i'm also going to be applying for food stamps, but i have no idea how that's going to go. they'll probably want saxy to apply for unemployment, which he probably doesn't qualify for.

i'm telling you, sometimes this shit makes me wish i had stayed in cali. problem is, we wouldn't have qualified for aid much longer out there anyway. there's now a maximum number of years you can get public aid now, and we would have been long past it.

i really do hope the landlord gives us more time -- he knows the situation, he's been pretty understanding so far, but he's also not someone who should pay for our housing costs. if he holds out at all, it'll be because: 1) the house would end up going unrented anyway (there's actually 3 or 4 places that have had for rent signs up for a couple of months now...not a good sign that the neighborhood is affordable at the moment), or 2) he's concerned any new tenants would be like the last ones -- people who don't pay their rent and steal the utilities they need. but, really, the idea of an empty house or bad tenants won't hold him off for long.

all we can do now is hope saxy will find something, anything, that can help pay the bills. even though full time at minimum wage is only about $300/week (and we'd have to minus taxes from that), that's something. it'll take everything we have, and the utilities would still be in question, but we could keep a roof over heads.

this year has screwed us (and so many others) over so royally that i really wish it were over. i mean, the time has really gone quickly (and because of being sick for so long, i can barely remember most of it), but, without work to help get us out of this mess, these last few months are going to crawl and not in a good way.

we keep saying something will come up. right now, that's hard to see. it will be hard to see until it is over and we're on our way to being on our feet again. and i keep saying all we can do is hang on and keep doing what we're already doing. i just need a light at the end of the tunnel. i just need to see it will be over and in a good way.

it just needs to be over.


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word of the moment: effervescent

giving off bubbles; used of wines and waters; charged naturally or artificially with carbon dioxide; marked by high spirits or excitement
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