thursday, december 6, 2007

i am annoyed today--which is better than yesterday when i was downright pissed. and the reason for the pissiness is the same that it's been for awhile now: my brother. the man who "helped" us come out to georgia because there are jobs and promised to not hold that over our heads but has held it over saxy's head every damn day. the man that gave saxy a "temporary" job then never gave him the time to go look for something else. the man who is "broker than (us" but goes on vacation every fucking month. saxy isn't even an employee any more and he still finds ways to pull his bullshit.

*deep breath*

a little while back, the vehicle we were going to buy died, so saxy was without a car again. in georgia, at least around our area, there isn't a very good bus system and the nearest bus stop is an hour's walk away. saxy's current boss helped out by taking him for awhile, but he has other things he needs to do if he's going to get the business off the ground, so there were days he couldn't help. no big deal until there was a whole week of it. in a case of "some money coming in is better than no money at all" (since 1) i'd already resigned with the county, and 2) even if i hadn't, my money comes in at the end of the month so wouldn't help with the weekly need for food anyway), saxy agreed to help mcat out for a week and $400, part of which included picking up materials so meant using mcat's truck.

yes, THAT truck and you should have seen MY reaction when i saw the damned thing in our driveway again.

mcat, who we haven't spoken to in months (which, i think, would have been a clue for most people), is already up to his old tricks. and treating saxy like he's incompetent and no better than the mud on mcat's shoes is only part of it. he's had more work saxy can do, but, you gotta understand, saxy is now freelance, which means mcat isn't his traditional boss anymore but a client. but he's still acting like a damn boss. he calls saxy and bitches at him about not doing stuff when he hasn't even checked the job site. the first paycheck? saxy waited a week since paying 2 weeks after you start is pretty standard apparently, but the week he was supposed to pay, mcat (who is broke, remember) went away for a week without paying ANYBODY he had working on the house.

and NOW he says saxy can keep using the truck (which costs a freaking fortune in gas) as long as he pays $50/week...AGAIN. only this time, mcat told saxy that he isn't making payments so it could get repo'ed. it isn't registered and he has no intentions to pay the registration, so it could get impounded. oh, and he's not paying for insurance either. WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE NEED $50/WEEK FOR IF HE'S NOT PAYING ANYTHING ON IT? and the damn thing costs at least $100/week in gas! then yesterday? he turns around and makes a payment and pays the registration and tells saxy he's taking at least a portion out of it from saxy's check that's due! when saxy says he can take it, but give him enough to do something for our youngest's birthday and maybe christmas, mcat says he can't because he's broker than we are right now. and then tells him he oughta not pay saxy at all because of all the money he's put into helping us out--none of which we asked for, btw.

i'm extremely annoyed with the husband not only for putting us in this situation again, but also for not standing up to mcat and telling him to fuck off. and i'm pissed at mcat who apparently is nothing but an asshole. more broke than we are? i bet you he's spoiled his kids rotten for christmas. and he's not worried about the next rent check or how he's going to feed his family the next week. his wife works at a VERY good job, he works at a decent job. strapped for cash? only because he's a fucktard and likes to cheat people out of their money.

this man has managed to alienate every person who's worked for him. apparently he did it again this week. one of the guys did something that apparently means mcat needs to buy more material. mcat said he should take it out of the guy's check. the guy walked off the job. when mcat called and said "i was only kidding!" the guy said "fuck you!" and hung up. then did it again when mcat tried to call back. and he trying to dig saxy in deeper! he fucking calls saxy's current boss (mcat's ex-partner who has been screwed out of $4000 AT LEAST) to ask if saxy's working there that day. saxy has NEVER lied to the guy, so he has no reason not to trust it when saxy says he's working that day, so what the fuck is this bullshit? the truck was obviously a ploy to get saxy back under his thumb. as for the money, he told us awhile back that he was going to write it all off, we just had to sign a paper saying that he did indeed pay for us to move out here. wtf ever happened to that? bet you his accountant (the man can afford an accountant for crying out loud!) told him it wouldn't help him in the end. OR he decided it was just much better to hold it over our heads.

and his father (my stepfather) told him to watch out for me? (yes, he actually told me that!) he's the one who ended up being a fucking control freak, manipulative bastard, and a user. as for his relationship with me personally, he's pretty much made sure there isn't one. saxy's told him repeatedly to talk to ME about money and he won't even do that much. we went out once or twice together the year we got here, nothing since. hell, the half sister i didn't even know about was out here for a few months and he never bothered to have us get together and meet--i didn't even KNOW she was out here until she was on her way to california. he didn't even bother to send us an invitation to his wedding! if anything, i needed to be warned about him.

and for a man who's all about money, he's been pretty dense when it comes to us. we tell him we need a place that's less than $800/month, and he found one! but he picked the place that's more than $900 for us. as with everything else, we didn't know until he'd cosigned the lease and everything, so we were stuck with it for at least a year, which of course has gone on and on because we can't fucking afford to move. when we told him we couldn't AFFORD even $200/month on a vehicle, how much does he charge us for use of the truck? $200 a month. when we tell him to talk to ME about financial matters, does he? no. he keeps harassing saxy about it. he offers to pay for things, then, when it's too late to change it, turns around and says, "you pay for it now, i'll pay you back on the check." when the check comes, he's only paid a portion of it. (and, no, we don't do THAT any more--not since the "dinner out" that he decided was too expensive and left us with half the bill.) he just doesn't get that we can't afford all this shit, even after 4 years of it. saxy earned maybe $450 a week with him (usually less), rent and utilities alone come to well over $1500/month (not counting food in there) and he never can understand why we don't have any fucking money to do anything. he never really got it about taz either. he seems to think the whole autism thing isn't a big deal. it is when you have to put out a minimum of $30/month on his meds, have to get him extra food because he's so damn thin, and he's the only boy in the family so can't take hand-me-downs from the girls. mind you, he took taz to a ball game once (he'll NEVER do something like that again), so got a taste of some of the issues, but he still doesn't get that this one kid has a bigger impact on our family emotionally, physically, and financially than any other kid has on a family. he's just insanely oblivious to anything that doesn't directly affect him.

i've not spoken to him except to answer the phone in months. i don't want to--i have enough problems with my blood pressure, thank you very much. he's an asshole. he's a thief and a con. once we're out of this situation with the car, i never want to speak to or see him again. if i ever sell my first novel and have the dinner i want to celebrate it, he's not on the guest list. when we can finally get out of this house we can barely pay rent on, i don't even plan to tell him where we've gone. i want nothing to do with him. this bullshit is abuse, and i've been through all that crap before. i want out of this forced relationship as quickly as possible and i can't do shit until we can make a payment on the other car. and THAT may be impossible because we're paying on that damn truck again!

so, yea, i'm really annoyed. there's some other stuff going on too, but they're minor in comparison, and not the fault of those involved. my son is sick, didn't go to sleep until something like 5 this morning, and was mister talking/squeaking boy most of the night. it's annoying, but he can't do anything about it. it's just one more thing to deal with when i'm already in a bad place.

and i'm pretty annoyed at myself for thinking we might actually be free of all this bullshit. we'll only be free when we get out of this house and the man who is my half-brother by blood has no idea where we live. as for the money we "owe" him? he can shove the debt up his ass. he told us he wasn't planning on getting it back. he told us he was going to write it off. well, he can fucking write it off because he's not getting a dime back. we may not have paid him back in cash, but we've certainly paid in a whole lot of other ways. i'm tired of paying and i'm tired of him.

word of the moment: accension

the act of kindlingor setting on fire, or the state of being kindled; inflammation; ignition

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