somewhere along the way common sense got lost in my kids growing up thus so far.
for my son this makes sense. he has particular issues that make common sense a
difficult thing to master at any age, much less the cognitive age of 5 or 6. there
are some things i would expect from a 6 year old that i don't expect from my son
however. for example, when you tell a child not to walk in the street, at the
age of 6, you kinda expect that to make some sense, even if just based on a mommy
says i'll get hurt if i walk in the street. i usually give better explanations,
like, the cars use the street and they are much bigger than you and could hurt
you. good thing to give them the info as to why you are saying what you are saying
so imagine my surprise today when i hear from jewel that froggy didn't want to
hold her hand on the way home from the bus and ran in the street to avoid having
to do so. thank god SOME drivers try to be alert to kids in rural areas. apparently
she was almost hit and that was avoided purely by the fact that the driver saw
her and avoided her. she came in the house sneaking behind her older sis and then
"snuck" up the stairs. and when i called her down to discuss this with
her, oh the look! i would have been dead if looks could kill. she had done this
once before with kitten, and the reaction was quite different when "caught",
so i am thinking the look was because she KNEW she did wrong and was upset at
being "told on". i know some may think the fact she was almost hit may
have to do with it, but i am not quite so sure. this is the kid that felll down
our stairs 3 times and still insists on running up and down them, fell off the
top bunk twice and still wanted to be on the top bunk for as long as we had it.
she is her own walking danger zone sometimes and is either oblivious to it or
thrives on it. take your pick. so i am pretty sure it was that she was being told
on and would be getting in trouble for her behavior that brought on the attitude.
i rarely put up with "tattling". its a horrible habit kids get into.
and it usually occurs when one kids has what another kid wants, the kid who is
tattling is in trouble and wants everyone else to join him or her in the dog house,
the kid they are telling on has done something they didn't want them to do...or
didn't do something they wanted them to do, or something else retaliatory. rarely
is it because the kid did anything seriously wrong, and even more rarely is it
because the kid did anything dangerous. so the rules in my house are pretty close
to, "no blood, no death, no major injury, then no tattling.". not that
this always works, or that i won't listen to a tattle of another nature if its
serious enough, but this at least gives the kids some guidelines as to appropriate
tattling. i particularly loathe the "she won't let me play in her room"
kind of tattling. i always want to look at the kid and say, "and?" but
if i kid is in danger, then by all means TELL ME. that kind of "tattling"
is more than appropriate in my mind.
so jewel came in and passed on the information of the afternoon's events and little
froggy was talked to and sent to lay down until supper time.
froggy is 6 and can be allowed memory hiccups like this. but kitten is 13. she
should have some common sense. and since a parking lot can be just as dangerous
as a street at times, i was even more shocked to discover her and jewel playing
in our parking lot. her excuse? "you never told me not to!" ummm...i
am supposed to specifically say she's not to play in a PARKING LOT? she does KNOW
that streets are off limits, so why on earth would a parking lot, also used by
large heavy vehicles, be any different? and of course she got in trouble for such
nonsense as well, but her look wouldn't have killed me, just blistered the skin
a little. then came the tears.
i do not know if i can manage to live with a teen, a preteen, and a 6 year old
going on 15 for much longer. i am sure some of it is the attitudes of the kids
in the neighborhood rubbing off on them. the kids in the neighborhood own the
street. they walk and play and do whatever they want in it any time they want
to. the fact that they are more likely to be shot than run over must make our
streets (as in the pavement) much safer than what i make it out to be. safe enough
to ignore the fact that they have been told all the safety rules for streets and
to ignore common sense about parking lots. am i missing something to expect a
13 year old to be able to make the connection that streets and parking lots are
both places for vehicles and therefore both dangerous playgrounds? maybe not in
those words, but at least the concept?
at any rate, it is much quieter earlier this evening than usual. both street kids
have been sent to bed early. hopefully the next time they forget about streets
and parking lots i will be just as i was today and they will come home safe and