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thursday 12.07.2000
keeping secrets


have you ever tried to work on christmas gifts for your kids, down to the wire, and keep it a secret? i don't mean running out to the store and finding a hiding place they haven't found before, every parent has problems with that. i mean actually creating it.

i am making my girls christmas pages this year. i really have nothing else to give. so i have been hunting down adoptions and things and thinking about graphics and so on. now, hunting down adoptions is no big deal. the kids usually don't pay attention when i surf the web too much. but when i create graphics, its a whole different story. they LOVE to watch me work. while there are graphics goddesses out there that absolutely ROCK more than i do, at home i am the queen and the girls generally love my work. a real ego booster in its own way, a nuisance if i don't want to see them what i am working on.

for example, today went something like this:

jewel is home (off track) and playing quietly upstairs. i have finally figured out what i want on kitten's set that's different from the others (they are getting the same backgrounds, just little differences that make it theirs). so i am working on cleaning up the image i scanned from an ornament i made kitten awhile back when jewel just traipses on downstairs. no warning. i frantically switch from psp to netscape.

take care of what she needed and she traipses back upstairs. so i go back to work and kitten walks in the door from school. she goes to do dishes and she's in the living room every 10 or 15 minutes. most times her comments have nothing to do with dishes and every time i am frantically trying to switch windows.

afterwards she wants to go outside. then she wants to check her mail. then jewel wants to check her mail. then froggy comes in. then they ask to borrow a book. or a game. or something.

so its been one interruption after another with me trying to hide what i am doing every time. and, of course, with every interruption they are starring at the computer monitor rather than me as they ask their requests.

(and you can stop laughing now).

i wouldn't be doing this during the day if i had more time. and i would have had more time if i had realized how tight the money situation was going to be once saxy came back into the house. but we didn't expect him to lose his job or be denied unemployment. most years i try to get presents for the holidays early, and spend money around the holidays on ingredients for christmas cookies and such. this year we just had too much else to take care of. we made plans, bought a few things that all ended up going to birthday presents, and cookies are out of the question this year as well. so here i am trying to give something to my kids and they keep interrupting.

of course they are allowed in the living room and all that stuff, it just would be nice to have some warning other than the sudden thudding on the stairs.

and before you ask, whyspered moments is linked from their blogs, but they don't read it. so i should be relatively safe here.

as long as i can keep one more cute face from looking over my shoulder one more time. i love my kids...but man, right now mama needs some space! ;)

as for saxy's present? it is very hard there. he'd know about a page and it is harder to kick him out of the living room than the kids. not that he is always paying attention to what i am doing on the machine. in fact, i think he'd rather just ignore me being on the machine entirely sometimes. it's not bad, he just doesn't embrace it wholeheartedly. not too many men i know do. all the same, for him i think i will have to just scrounge a bit and get him something from amazon.com or something. assuming his wish list affordable. mine isn't. but then, that's why its a wish list.

despite all these shinaneghans of sneaking around and keeping secrets, i look forward to a christmas filled with lots of surprises, lots of love, and family. secrets will just make it a bit more fun.

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