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saturday 12.09.2000
year forward

the year is almost over and i am really glad for it. not that this year was absolutely horrible. we didn't have major computer crashes around the world (maybe in some small countries, but we never heard about them); we're housed, clothed and fed; and we're ending on the up note of being together as a family. things on the net got crazy but seem to have settled nicely now. in fact, over all the year seems to have been a bit on the wild side, but is winding to a quiet and more settled close. at least for me. i know of some who are having life ending crazier than it started this year. but for us, it is isn't closing badly and this is good, all things considered.

however, there are just some things i am ready to move on from. this year, while not the worst, also hasn't been the best. or at least, not as good as it could have been. primarily in that is the marriage mayhem that we had this year. yes we are back together, but what we had to go through to get here is nothing i wish to ever experience again, and i am more than ready to put as much time between us and the events of this past year as far behind us as possible. it all worked out for the best, but with us, working things out as we are NEXT year will be so much better! mr. hyde is gone and hopefully will stay gone. the stress of unemployment does have him attempting to peek through every so often, but we are aware, or more accurately HE is aware, and can put the monster back in his place before we have any real trouble with it. and next year, once the surgery has been done, the whole unemployment thing will, hopefully become a moot point. (the fun thing is, when you are unemployed get all stressed out from being unemployed, but as soon as you get a job you then have job stress!)

DominoDesigns, for all the effort i put into it this past year (and money! arg!) became nothing more than another linkware site with its own cult following. i can live with that. with school, visions, expressions, eloquence and a few other things other than net sisters, family and all that, i am not going to have time to put as much effort into dd. on the one hand this absolutely sucks. i love graphic and web design. i really do. on the other hand it all worked out for the best. and being so busy with school and such next year will take my mind off my "failure". maybe sometime in the next year i can dedicate some time to getting my drawing skills back and then being able to offer completely original works, rather than relying on the tools of the trade as much: fonts and tubes. not that these are bad, but being able to make your own art, logos and images is a definite plus. (as you can see i fall in the "jack of all trades" category - i design, write, draw, and do many other creative things...but am a master of none.)

visions is still too new to make any judgment about. i suppose it would be a good idea to get it into the search engines, but i had put so much energy into dd that i just have not been sure if i really want to make all that effort and have it flop like dd has. regardless, it is a good thing since both visions and eloquence help hone my writing skills. something an english major (with a creative writing concentration) could always use. and many seem to think that this is where my talent truly lays, in writing. we shall see. visions is doing ok for what it is. i don't even know if many people bother to visit eloquence. but in addition to these two things i will have fugue and expressions both to help hone my skills as well. plus, maybe the game that has been "on hold" this whole year will finally get off the ground in january. something else i really look forward too, playing again (even if i have to gm it to do so!).

and this is pretty much how the year 2000 has gone. nothing fantastic, but not devastating either (for which i am grateful!). i am really hoping to see some really good stuff next year. i am not even expecting a spectacular year, but it would be nice to have one where things just go our way for the most part. i know, i know, what a way for someone who believes in learning from the experience to think. and i do believe that in all things we have something to learn, something to make us a better person. but every so often ALL of us really want things to go our way. i am not expecting to move from our neighborhood, but a car and good job for saxy would be just as good for us. i am not hoping for dd to explode with business, but some paying work would be nice. i don't have grand plans in life. but it would be nice to get to where my parents were when i was a kid, and it would be even nicer for that to start next year.

this year wasn't a bust. but next year has so much potential, and i would like to get a taste. like everyone else who's year wasn't fantastic but wasn't god awful. it's human nature to want things to be better than they were before. and while i may seem to dwell on last year a bit much, i really don't actually. next year presents a whole new load of experiences and things to dwell on and write about and grow through. maybe, even if things are about the same, just being different is enough. the same old same old can be just as tedious and as much a downer as truly depressing experiences sometimes.

so here's hoping for better and different, for all of us.

happy holidays from whyspered moments. just click on the kao to go pick him up. a link back appreciated but not required.

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