settling
saturday, march 24, 2007

in hawaii, i actually tried some native hawaiian foods. for some reason, they didn't sit well with me, but, since they were pretty bland (except for some chicken i tried that came out kind of spicy for my pallet), i figured that was pretty much it. i'd go back to my usual food and things would be okay.

it hasn't quite worked out that way. ever since i've been back, my tummy's been upset. i, being the idiot i can be sometimes, had no idea what was bothering it. was it the flu? no, it was taking too long to form other symptoms. was it my period? no, i had a small one and it passed and i was still queasy. nerves and stress? possibly -- the trip did hit us right when we were getting a bit more settled, there's the issues with mcat and the truck, and so on and so forth, ad nauseum. but even that doesn't quite add up -- i've been under that pressure for a long time now, so why would i get sick when i get back from hawaii? maybe it was a stress reaction to the plane trip? no -- my stomach's been at it too long.

so, it finally hits me today what's going on. juice. yes, juice. hubby and i recently decided to reduce the amount of soda in our lives. one way to do that, and increase our fruit intake since we don't buy much fruit (too costly) is fruit juice. but fruit juice is highly acidic and i have an ulcer. why i didn't think of this, i have no idea. it should have crossed my mind a lot earlier. hell, i should have thought about it when we originally started making the switch. today i started drinking tea again. haven't done it in awhile. my tummy is still a bit on the queasy side, but it's already settling. and, it's good. i mean, i always liked tea, but seem to have forgotten that. this is nice herbal stuff, like peppermint and orange (which i tend to mix together).

telling ya, food may not be the culprit in creating ulcers, but it sure can be a culprit in irritating the damn things.

we've also had to cut out bacon and sausage to keep from having to go into the restroom every 15-20 minutes after we eat it. depressing. and a sure sign age and bad health is finally catching up with us.

i'm getting "settled" -- so to speak -- with some other things too. the truck, for one. saxy isn't using it as much to drive to work, so the $200 isn't bothering me as much as it did. we'd have to spend about that much on our own car anyway. $500 a month (the $200 payment plus the $300 in gas) was a bit excessive and one of the reasons i was getting pissed off. we keep the use down to weekends as much as possible (which we can since i'm not working right now), and we keep the gas cost down, which means we're down to a more normal pay out on transportation.

okay, so it does take a little mental gymnastics, but i'd really rather not stress over a payment that is now not much more than we'd normally be paying anyway. mcat's other fiascoes -- messed up paychecks and paydates, the broken promises, claiming to be broke while going off to wherever, and so on -- those all still irritate the hell out of me.

and he's just plain clueless, as far as i can tell. i'm really beginning to think that he honestly doesn't remember what he promises. he came by today, even came in to say hi. i was civil, but barely. when he went out, he apparently said to saxy, "i've done something to irritate her." but he also had no idea what it was. he didn't bring up even one possibility.

uh, hello?

he'll probably never get it.

but, really, other than the occasional temper tantrum from a new idiocy, i'm trying to let all that go now too. i mean, whatever. he's the one who's going to pay in the end, if not in the here and now, well, eventually. there's no reason for me to be all worked up about it all the time. it's bad for me. it's bad for the blood pressure. it's bad for my peace of mind. it's bad for . . . everything, really. i have the ability to get pissed off, explode, and just let things go. i think it's been hard to do that because it's been one thing after another with him. and we still have crap we need to work through to get past a lot of that junk (car, taxes), but nothing will be accomplished by being all worked up about it all.

i'd much rather be settled.



word of the moment: feria

(in Spanish speaking regions) a local festival or fair, usually in honor of some patron saint; a weekday on which no festival or holiday is celebrated, particularly in the roman catholic church; a surname









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