monday, january 15, 2007
i kept meaning to write, really! but the timing just hasn't been there, primarily because of the kids. don't get me wrong, i love my kids, but thank god they go to school tomorrow and i'm home -- i seriously need some space. (it's 10 pm, no call yet, most teachers go to bed no later than 9:30, so no call is likely to come -- no call tonight, no working tomorrow because saxy will be leaving at 7:00 am.) most of the difficulty is taz, who's going through something that's driving all of us, even him, i think, a little crazy. we're going to start adjusting his meds and see if we can get him to find his control again, but this may take a little time to kick in. we need to give the adjustments at least 6 weeks. until then, the attention he needs is extraordinary. we have to watch him, help him manage his stimming activities, keep him on track with his chores (as few as they are), help him keep focused. it's a big task, and not one he's always inclined to deal with happily. he wants to stim. we need him to function as a part of the household. the two aren't compatible.
so, i've wanted to write, because it has been a rather good couple of days with tiny bits of news, but news none the less, but i've had my hands full. and i've been "on" for awhile now. saxy has worked late almost every day since i was off, and even worked part of friday after thinking he could take the day off, and all day saturday. sunday he was supposed to help keep an eye on the kids so i could write, but ended up falling asleep so i ended up watching them most of the day anyway. today, he worked. by evening, i'm too worn out to do much, though writing progress has been made anyway. helping taz manage his behavior when his control is slipping so badly is hard work, exhausting work. i love him, but, yes, i desperately need a break.
the good news is that, as long as he works 8 hours, saxy has been able to make up most of what we lose when i don't work. so, long days may make it harder on me, especially when the kids are home all day, but at least we aren't losing much on the money side.
friday, he took the day off. we had kid appointments, resume dropping to do, and the like. we spoke with taz's teacher about what he's telling us he's doing and our concern that he didn't seem to be typing anymore. so now he types up a report of what he did each day and brings that home. even with the control issues, it really did help friday. taz's big focus is movies -- he can tell you the studio and rating of any movie he's seen a commercial for once. he recites entire lines of dialogue from the movies. so when we ask him what he did each day, he would bring up . . . movies. whether he had seen them that ay or not. we didn't want taz to be so hyper focused on movies and were afraid that he was seeing way too many of them, but, no, he's just talking about his favorite thing and hyperfocusing on it. (some of this has to do with an atustic's problem with time.) the typed sheet of what he did that day gave me a jumping point of questions to ask about his day. less movie talk, more focus on the rest of his life. and this is good.
the youngsters also went to the doctor's. froggy is doing well and will stay on her current meds. taz, as we said, will be adjusting dosages, hopefully starting tomorrow. the meds he's on have worked for a long time, but he's likely adjusted to the current combination. and i'm sure the whole adolescence thing is throwing in a real monkey wrench as well. i was a bit surprised that she's sticking to the same medications, but i guess i can see adjusting the doses of what we know has worked in the past before trying something new that we don't have any idea of how it will affect him. and i'm not asking for a totally docile kid. but taz needs to be able to work and live in society. he will always be different, but that will only be made even more painfully obvious if he can't even focus long enough to accomplish simple tasks. or if he can't control the finger spinning and self-talk to some degree.
after the appointments, we dropped the kids back off at school and then went on a resume run. resumes went to about 10 schools. we dropped 2 or 3 that are way out in the boonies off the list. they may have been feasible as work places when we had the jetta, but the truck is a hog, and an expensive one at that. i'm going to be checking the county site this week to see if any new schools are slated and i'm also calling the human resources dept. to update my phone number. i'm hoping the fiasco with the home phone and digital phone service hasn't already cost me a job. i doubt it, but it's possible. i do one of the schools i've subbed in has an opening that it's interviewing for, and i dropped off a resume, but i doubt i fully qualify for the position since it falls under special ed (even though the kids are, essentially, getting extra help and not in need of physical support nor do they have disorders such as autism). we'll see. i've put myself out there, yet again. something may happen.
beyond that, it was a nice weekend, for the most part (there's been a huge domain issue going on at alden.nu, but that should be settled soon). i got writing done. the finances are slowly coming to heel -- we dropped magazine subscriptions, several of my less necessary meds, and are looking into other options. we do need to find a way to get taz pants that fit, so i may end up having to look into specialty shops online (which will eat up everything we've saved), but i think we've known that was coming for a long time now. we went through his pants this weekend and found only 3 pair that both fit him in the waist and the leg -- the others all fit his waist but were at least 2 or 3" too short (and some were shorter than that). we've also resisted temptation and not gone out to dinner or bought books or done anything like that. we did get pizza one night, but it was only $20 and served us over 3 meals through the weekend (lunches are always leftovers during the weekend).
on a 'down' note of sorts, i will need to go back into the clinic and have my finger checked again. the swelling is still there (over the whole finger, not just the knuckle) and i still can't bend it. i do try, i've worked with the squooshy ball, and i think the doctor i saw must have missed something. the pain is generally down, but it does flare up. at this point, i'm doubting i'll get full use of the finger back. granted, it's only a pinkie, but they are actually more important than you realize until one is disabled in some way. even without the flare ups, it makes things quite awkward not being able to use it at times. anyway, it's been at least 6 or 7 weeks. it needs to be checked out again.
but not tomorrow. tomorrow i revel in peace and quiet and freedom from children for the day. but, you watch, saxy will work late again. course, that just means i have to get all my fun stuff done before 4.
|word of the moment: feria
(in Spanish speaking regions) a local festival or fair, usually in honor of some patron saint; a weekday on which no festival or holiday is celebrated, particularly in the roman catholic church; a surname
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