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wenesday, november 22, 2006



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"Bridge of Wings -
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work continues to overwhelm my time. even when i don't have much to do, i'm too damn tired to do anything else. it's made me pretty damn cranky of late. too tired, too much to try to get through, too irritated at students who complain about their grades then do nothing about them. i just want this particular assignment to end . . . soon. thank god we have 3 days off this week, plus the weekend. the plan is to recover a little, play a little ff xii, do some writing, and generally ignore the whole classroom thing until the weekend. then i have a few things i really do need to look at and try to finish up, but until then, i'm taking some of my time back for me.

our original plan this week was to ignore thanksgiving, but a neighbor decided to change that for us. apparently she and hub met the other day -- she asked about soem graffitti that's been showing up on one of the neighboring houses (we suspect we know which of the neighborhood kids are responsable, but have yet to see him with a spray can in his hand -- not that he'd do it when he can be seen, of course). apparently the discussion somehow got around to thanksgiving and saxy mentioned that we weren't going to have one this year. we really can't afford it and we'd rather put the money into christmas (christmas dinner can get quite expensive, and we may have 8 people to feed this year). it wasn't a decision we made easily, but thanksgiving has bad timing for us this year.

last night this neighbor knocked on our door and told us that what saxy had told her about us not having thanksgiving this year had been heavy on her heart and that she wanted to give us a blessing. when saxy came in, she told him that she and her mother wanted to provide us with thanksgiving dinner! we're a bit astonished, but definitely blessed, probably more than this woman knows. she was even careful to ask about any food issues (allergies and dislikes and such) and let us choose on ham or turkey. i actually prefer ham, but let saxy decide since he was the one who inspired such giving in her and since he's the one who has been the most unhappy about skipping thanksgiving this year. he's been jonesen for turkey, so you can figure out which one he decided on. ;)

finances are tighter than usual at the moment -- the car going belly up and the subsequent weeks off for saxy have resulted in a paying the minimum only when absolutely necessary on the utilities. i.e. we pay the minimum required when we get a disconnect notice rather than paying the bills as they come in. we've had to do this with a few bills anyway, but now it's all of them. our one relief is that we're not paying auto insurance at the moment. we had actually been looking forward to getting things caught up a bit this month -- it looked like we were going to get a good half a dozen or so checks in rapid succession which would allow us to pay almost everyone and have a bit of breather space when i'm finally off for the christmas holidays, but it just didn't work out that way. it never does with us, for some reason. we'll manage, we always do, it's just frustrating.

in other news, logan, the new kitten, is an adorable little freak who is managing to fit right in. he and vagner have become buds, and he and ororo do okay -- not fantastic, but she doesn't mind him even if she doesn't play with him much. granted, miss ororo turned 6 this year, so that may have a lot to do with it. vagner turned 4 this summer, and he isn't playing quite so much anymore either, but at least logan gives him that outlet if he wants it. as for being a freak, logan appears to be a bit of a clothing horse. he's grabbed socks, underwear, bras, hand towels, washclothes, and any other odd assortment of cloth related items and dragged them under the couch. he seems to be trying to create a hoard under there. we make sure to clean it out on laundry day. he's wonderfully affectionate, loves pets, and has a rumble you would not believe for one so small. saxy definitely made a good choice.

i'm already starting to book for mid to late january, which is good for the pocketbook, if nothing else. i'll need to call towards the end of this semester and get my phone # changed at the human resources dept. for the county schools. right now it's kind of pointless since i'm not available. if it weren;t for the fact that things are such a mess at home and that we can't even cover our butts for the 2 weeks i miss in december from the holidays. i would take a few extra days off in january, maybe even an extra week. course, you never know, it may happen that way anyway. seems to be our luck.

youngest is still sick from her bronchitis. this is her second bout and the amoxycillan doesn't seem to have helped much this time around. she'll have to go back in sometime this weekend, i guess. with taz we're dealing with sleep issues . . . as in he never wants to sleep. even with his meds, he often stays awake until 3 or 4 in the morning these days. makes it even harder for me since i hate him being awake when no one can make sure he stays out of trouble, but i've been so exhausted that staying up with him has been impossible. and jewel's miss thang is back, so she's been told to move out. she's found a place and it looks like she'll be out of here by the end of the month. i hate to do it, but i'm not dealing with another 5 - 6 months of attitude from her when i have other children who need me a whole lot more than she does right now. she's only 4 or 5 months away from 18 anyway, so it's not a major jump in the timetable. i know she's not really ready for this, but i have to think of the younger kids, particularly taz. the disruptions she causes are too much for him.

oldest, phoenix, is in her 6th month of pregnancy and has just been told that hub will be going to iraq on december 8. the plan is for her to come live with us as soon as she's out of the army, but there are a ton of things that can't be taken care of until she actually is, and now hubby won't be around to do them. this means that we may not see her until february even though she's being discharged in january. everything is so touch and go at the moment, but at least we'll have a room for her and the baby. and, honestly, i think she'll be a bit relieved to have someone help her out -- life seems to have been a bit out of control for her and i can tell it's been freaking her out a little. this is the child who was incredibly a.r. about her room -- even one thing out of place sent her into a bit of a tizzy. to have her life in a spin must be rather scary for her.

i'm looking forward to tomorrow. dinner will be an unexpected treat, and then we'll be doing the traditional preparing for christmas thing -- the tree will go up and the children will decorate it with the ornaments so carefully chosen for each of us and to reflect our love for christ. the traditions we've built into our holidays seem to provide an anchor for us. it's a day of thankfulness, of reflection, of happy family stuff. and we're very much in need of it. there's been a lot, too much, clouding over our joy, making it hard to stay positive, draining away the hope and peace. hopefully tomorrow will begin to refill the empty coffers. most of us could certainly use it.



word of the moment: picaresque

belonging to or characteristic of a type of prose fiction that features the adventures of a roguish hero and usually has a simple plot divided into separate episodes; relating to or characteristic of rogues or scoundrels; picaresque fiction - prose fiction featuring the adventures of a roguish hero


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