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stressed iron
friday, november 22, 2002

hello, my first name is stupid. and my middle name is idiot.

as anyone who has read this journal for any length of time knows, i'm anemic and tired most of the time. this is true even when i take my iron pills on a regular bases. being tired is just part of the anemia for me. then the money, or more accurately, lack of money, gets in the picture. my meds are expensive, and the iron and soft gels to keep me from being constipated are the most expensive of the bunch. so i haven't been taking them, or most of my other meds, as a matter of fact. i've been spending the money on food and utilities.

unfortunately this is a bad idea in any case, and an even worse idea considering recent circumstances. stress tends to use more of your body's resources, even iron. and things have been quite stressful here of late: no one is working, saxy doesn't seem to be aggressive in verifying the job he supposedly has that has yet to call him in for training or in looking for a new job, my grade still hasn't posted so i'm still in limbo-land, we're still waiting for a recommendation letter from one of taz's doctors and i'm waiting for us to get the mighty boot, and so on. the big stress obviously being financial. so my body has been eating up it's resources alive.

over the last couple of weeks, my schedule has gotten more and more weirded out. only this time, it's not just the timing of my sleep but how much sleep. at first i thought it was the whole female cycle thing. the week before and the week of my period i am flat out exhausted. i'm used to this. but i'm also used to getting back into my tired, but not so exhausted, schedule once the thing is over and done with. it takes me a few days to get back on track, but i usually do.

except this time.

i've stayed so tired that i'm sleeping more than i'm awake, which is beyond unusual for me. i'm lethargic and can't think too well and starting to get sick a lot again. all warning signs of my iron levels crashing.

and, like an idiot, it didn't quite hit what was going on until yesterday. here, i've been sleeping through some of my favorite t.v. shows and then getting up and going to bed before midnight, and actually falling asleep before 2 a.m. i mean, i get in bed and i pass out, and i don't get it. even on my period i'm not quite this bad.

so it finally hits me yesterday: my iron levels are crashing.

you'd think i would be more aware of all this, especially considering that i tell other people to check into their iron levels when they get too tired without an explanation.

i did mention that i'm a stupid idiot, right?

at any rate, at least i finally realized it. i'm back on my iron. it'll take me a little bit to get back up to par, but at least i'm working on it and started again before it was too severe. i hope. no one slap me please, another friend already took care of that. and no need to worry. i'm ok, i will be more ok once the iron completely kicks in and i'm back to where i should be, but i'm ok now. just sleeping a lot. and soon i'll be back on my next to no sleep schedule and having people slapping me because i need more sleep.

site of the moment:
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word of the moment: alter

to make different without changing into something else; castrate, spay; to become different