and not just the girl (jewel) in question -- i'm beginning to think i'm pretty dense too. you'd think that by now i'd have figured out that this girl's middle name is manipulate and last name is selfish. instead, i try to be helpful and nice because i'm mom and i love my kids -- even the bitchy one. the end result? she thinks she can ask for and have and do whatever she wants. and when we say no, we have no money for her or no, she can't use the phone, she acts like it's her right to have these things even though she's supposed to be miss adult now.
the point of all this, other than reducing the arguments (which it has), is to show her what adulthood is and get her to grow up. instead, she's twisting it so she gets both sides of the fence: mama's money or whatever when she needs it (for her phone, for her personal needs, for whatever), and her freedom to do what she wants when she wants.
maybe if her mother weren't such a sucker (or an idiot, take your pick), i could give her leeway and help her out with things occasionally. the problem has now become that she apparently thinks it's her right to get money, use our phone, and so on. she thinks her bills can wait because they are due to her family instead of someone else.
same old sorry ass theme: she can treat us as if we're merely here to accommodate her because we're family.
tonight, she wanted money from us for her phone. the phone she spends $30 on every four days because she has no control. we told her we had none. so, then, she wants to use our phone to make plans with a friend, the phone we told her was only for emergencies because it's our phone and she has a phone. "but i don't have any money on it!" whine, whine. this is not our problem. this is her problem. so she asks about banks and is told they aren't open on sundays -- that we're taking her to the bank tomorrow to cash her check so saxy can get gas to go to work. "but i was going to use that money for my phone!"
not when you still owe us $300 you're not.
this, of course, explodes into an argument about how she needs to work this out and so on and so forth. welcome to real life, kid! everybody starts out with next to nothing. we warned her, but she's always acted as if she's the one who's going to be different. guess that's part and parcel of being a teenager.
she's been told that if she wants to spend $500 on an apartment, $200 on food, and $300 on her own utilities, be our guests, but us being family isn't going to be her excuse to not pay her bills here. she had an idea to clean house and work some of her debt off, and we were agreeable to that, but decided to stay in bed until and hour before work. now she wants us to loan her yet more money for her phone when we're trying to get gas to go to work? i think not. i might have been more agreeable about her check if she had some some work today, shown she really wanted to clear up her debt and get on a level field, but i'm certainly not going to be agreeable when she acts like her family's first concern should be her and her damn phone. sorry, but i have more important things to worry about.
so, now she knows, no more leeway, no more loans -- we bill her the rent, utilities, and food as always, anything else has to be paid for and will only be given after those are taken care of. no extras. she says she doesn't think it's her right to have what she wants, but she really could have fooled us with this behavior and attitude she throws around when she doesn't get it. so, now, no more mommy stuff. i just have to remember that when she comes to me all sweet and asking for things (because that's about the only time she's sweet).
and, of course, we're the real bitches in all of this. she stormed out of the house, pissed off that she wasn't getting what she wanted and was being told to just deal with it. welcome to adulthood, baby! next lesson? mama learns not to give in.
this ought be fun. NOT!
word of the moment: sentient
conscious, capable of feeling and perception, responding with feeling, capable of responding emotionally rather than intellectually