have you noticed how spam seems to go in cycles? for awhile there is was sex (well, okay, a lot of the times it's still sex) with a few odd things thrown in particularly during the holidays (remember the bird feeder someone was trying to sell as a christmas gift?). all that sex, and the assorted other things, got most of us pissed off and we began the hunt for spam filters and spam assassin's and, if you're lucky, you probably don't get much of it . . . or at least less than that 6000 emails a day on penis enlargement. now you get that in journal comments and software is slowly adding spam protection to comments as well. but email, at least my email, is relatively free of girls cumming and toys designed to enhance my sexual pleasure . . . most of which assumes i'm male (a few recent ones have finally assumed i'm female, but, in general, the sex stuff is for the guys - and me having an enlarged penis would probably really upset my husband).

now days the spammers want me to watch my meds. more specifically, they want me to buy their fake, designer watches and purchase my meds from their online pharmacies. the pharmacies are SAFE, and EASY, and FAST, and DON'T REQUIRE PRESCRIPTIONS! and you can get your prescription meds FOR LESS!

uh, yea, right.

now, why would i want to buy your fake, designer rolexes and god knows what else after you spammed my email 15 dozen times in the same day? and even if you hadn't, if i wanted a watch of any kind, i'd go someplace i know like target, wal-mart, hell, even amazon.com would be safer to me than your spambot site. besides, if i wanted or needed a watch, i probably would have picked it up before the spam hit my box and still not needed you! and like your watch would work for more than a day. remember that old adage, you get what you pay for? well learned in this house. (and even more recently, sometimes you don't get what you pay for . . . sometimes you're lucky to get what you think you paid for, but even that seems to becoming less common in the scheme of things.)

as for the meds, like i'm going to trust your cut-rate stuff to be the same as what my doctor prescribed? i've heard about the junk that passes for medication and no thank you. one, i want my meds to actually work. two, death is not something i'm ready for quite yet, and the risk of more severe problems or death are just a little too high of a risk to take, thank you very much.

and while the occasionally cumming girl slips her way through the spam filters, if there's one place where i'll find the sex these days, it's in the meds spam. all this crap i need for my satisfaction . . . not. hubby and i are just fine without having to dope up. his penis size is just fine, we have wonderful orgasms without help, and we are truly satisfied with our love life. i know that's amazing in this day and age of the miracle sex pill, but it's true.

and while i'm on my harangue, no, i do not want the mortgage you claim i applied for and you've determined that i qualify for. obviously somebody's records are wrong in your office - why would i apply for a m0rtGage when i don't even own a h0u5e? first learn to spell and i might take you seriously.

then again, probably not.

finally, to the spammer who sent me the bank warning . . . fuck you. i called my bank, they don't email such things, and you will NOT get my debit card number and password.

hey, at least it's not another entry about tomorrow. i'm sure all of you are tired of hearing about my daughter coming out and all my squeals of joy that are echoing across the net. i almost made it without mentioning her at all.

almost.

i see my baby girl in 17 1/2 hours! wooooooooooooooooo!

(as a late aside, it has been noticed that increased excitement and hyperness on my part leads to increased typos . . . watch for LOTS of typos in a journal near you . . . er, here. my girl is gonna be here tomorrow! woooo!)