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wednesday, october 27, 2004

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what is it about not having saxy here that makes my children lose their minds? and the dog. and the cats.

saxy went with mcat to saint mary's until tomorrow night. as soon as he was out the door, roro started yowling. when she stopped, she and vagner decided to run around like maniacs. since he's been gone, the dog has sort of wandered the house, going even places she's not supposed to be, and not listened to her basic commands. jewel wanted to watch "the color purple" even though we watch other things tonight and it's not a movie i'd consider appropriate. and she's talking a lot more than usual . . . and she already talks a lot. A LOT. taz has become difficult and refused to listen to me. and i know tonight will be a hum/spin-fest because his routine is weirded out without saxy here. froggy . . . well, ok, froggy is being about the same. i guess 1 out 3 kids ain't bad.

i remember the days when i was the one who disciplined the kids - dad was an old softy, beg him hard enough and gave in. it didn't take much begging. in fact, dad is still a softy, he's just learning the limitations of a paycheck. well, a little bit. when the kids pushed buttons, all i had to do was count. never got past the number 2.

and now i feel like somewhere along the way, i became the softy and am getting the softy reaction from the kids. granted, i am definitely more flexible than saxy - a characteristic i've always thought was not just a part of his disability (he's schedule oriented), but also had to do with him not being a parent before we married. so, i actually expect a little bit of a more relaxed atmosphere around here when he's gone.

maybe it's the fallout from earlier today. kids are sensitive to emotional currents and i admit i'm tired, i want my husband home, and i'm . . . worried. worried about this whole . . . mess. worried that it was a mistake to come down here. that it may make things better financially, but worse in other ways i can't even quantify.

definitely emotional fallout. i'm getting stupid now, and kids will take advantage of any weakness. :P


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serving to supply a final answer, solution, or evaluation and to end an unsettled unresolved condition; fixed and unalterable in opinion or judgment; most authoritative, reliable, and complete usually with the implication of final and perfected completeness or precision -- used of research, scholarship, or criticism especially of a biographical or historical study or of a text or edition of a literary work or author; serving to define or specify precisely; distinguishing; exact, express, and clearly defined; real, actual, and positive; definite; complete; fully developed; final; issued as a regular stamp for the country or territory in which it is to be used

 
 

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