my schedule's a lot more whacked than usual, but i'm feeling better, at least in a physical sense. a little rest goes a long way sometimes. or maybe it was a 24 hour bug. either way, i pretty much suspect my body decided that if i wouldn't take some time out, it would force me to. for someone who doesn't work, i certainly do push myself sometimes.

i still haven't heard from my brother in response to the email. he's not much of an online person so this isn't really a surprise, but i need to know what's up so i better call him. we're ready to put our bed and 2 dressers in the green sheet, but i don't want to do that if there's even the remotest chance he's going to back out on all this. while selling stuff might help some people, we could sell everything we own and it wouldn't be a drop in the bucket compared to what we need to clear even a small amount of our debt. the sad thing with poverty - even when you have something to try to dig yourself out even a little, when that resource is gone, you end up digging right back in to cover some need or other. it's a rather vicious cycle, really. so selling everything might clear some bill or other, but then we'd just get back in deeper somewhere else and be furnatureless. i just don't see the point of even going there. i think calling him would probably relieve some stress for me too. the not knowing always drives me nuts.

we're still having trouble with my mother, however. i finally had to tell her to knock it off. i called on sunday to wish her a happy mother's day and within two sentences she was telling me one more thing we wouldn't like about georgia. i've told her repeatedly that the decision is made and that we must go where we have a chance of supporting our family without digging ourselves deeper in the process, but she's been determined to find a way to keep us here. i suppose i can understand it, but i'm pretty fed up with it now. i admit, when it comes to my mother, i have no patience. this time she started on about how racist they are in georgia. i hate it when anyone makes statements like that anyway. so i finally told her to knock it off, we're moving and she'd better get used to the idea. period. she said she wasn't being that bad and i pointed out that every time we talk she comes up with a reason we shouldn't go and she needs to quit now. don't know if it will work, but we'll see.

in other news, i finally finished the redesign of alden.nu. the splash is the same, but the inner pages are now in a much simpler design with an iframe. i also added a forum to the site. on the one hand i feel kind of silly setting up my "official author" site - i've only gotten a few things published, none of them novels, and no one really knows me after all. but on the other hand, if (and i realize that's a big 'if') i do manage to do well as an author, at least i'm set, right? one friend has such confidence in me she said she thought the whole thing was practical. besides, i really don't have much else to do with the domain. gotta use it for something!

and we all have to dream about something. whether my dreams are reached or not, at least i'm acting like they will be. that's got to count for something, right?

now i just have to get my schedule back to something resembling normal. yea, that's going to happen.