we have 3 months (and one week) and this move is already stressing me out. it's taking over my life, even my writing is suffering. for every day i have to spend time running around sorting things out, getting estimates, picking up boxes, and whatever else we need to do in relation to this move, i end up too tired to do much for at least the next day or two. and i ache.
i know most of this is because i've become so reclusive since i graduated. this is not a neighborhood you really want to go wandering around in if you don't have to. we get rides to the places we need to go from linnorm when we can. it's just not a safe place to be. i don't associate with the neighbors, there's only two i even talk to, the rest are gang bangers, drug dealers, and prostitutes. i'm just hoping this tendency to be a hermit hasn't soaked into my skin so much that i'll be the same way in atlanta. i used to be so friendly and cheerful! just goes to show how much a neighborhood can change you i guess. i've done this protect myself and my kids, and now i just have to hope it isn't a habit.
then there's the packing. most my books, our stuffed animals, and my coffee mug collection have been packed. the mug collection is still in process, and every time i hear the tiniest *chink* i cringe. wall stuff will probably be going next. and our upstairs, walk-in closet with all the old clothes, magazines, and miscellaneous other stuff. some of it gets tossed, a lot of it is being placed in the "to sell at the yard sale" pile. and i'm trying to be brutal on what we don't take with us. the cost of the uhaul is frightening, so the smaller truck we can get the better off we'll be! i know my brother is supposed to help with some of this, but we're looking at a humungous bill before this is all over.
all of this - getting the supplies, making the moving list, the packing, the finances - has me so stressed on this move i've gone back to eating chocolate.
even my husband, the man for things not changing, is handling this move better than i am! he's been downright cheerful since we decided that this was the way to go. we were running around tuesday doing moving related stuff - new accounts, boxes, exchanged a cat harness for one that we hope will fit better, and so on - and he was just joking around and having a grand time. lol
the animals, however, are about as freaked as i am. vagner has become a real snuggle kitty again, needing his mama's attention 2 or 3 times a day and half a dozen times at night. gypsy doesn't want to be away from her boy except to eat. roro just looks plain annoyed. lol
i keep reminding myself that this is for the best. we'll be in a better neighborhood, in a place with jobs, in a place where we can go back to college and have it mean something, we'll be starting new and fresh, but it isn't working. a small voice inside keeps second guessing me and that's not helping.
anyone got duct tape for annoying little voices that go against what you know to be true?
a small book or pamphlet of a kind formerly sold by chapmen (an itinerant dealer or peddler) containing popular tales, treatises, ballads, or nursery rhymes; a small book or pamphlet resembling a chapbook