one year at a time
2000 / 2001 / 2002 / 2003 / 2004 / 2005 / 2006 / 2007 / 2008 / 2009 / 2010 / 2011 / 2012 / 2013 / 2014 / 2015 / 2016 / 2017 / 2018

give me them all
real eyes . BlogTree
family tree . chimera
.:| Year of Reading |:.
defer me
tuesday, february 24, 2004

. ? 100 Things # .

« archive .|. index »

whysper
words count
journeys

~.~

domytriesthis

~.~

domynoes.com
letters



when i got them, school loans seemed a good idea. single mom with 4 kids, 1 who is multi-differently abled, no job, no time to get a job (without a car, jobs are hard to find and going to school and work on a bus . . . i NEVER would have been home, besides, my son needs me). and i was working on a degree for a field that needs people: teaching. not my first choice in jobs, but an english teacher would pay nice enough. and being a teacher has a nice advantage: you take certain jobs or teach for a cerrtain length of time (full time teaching) and some of your loans get forgiven, so to speak. so, loans, when you're so broke you can't pay attention, have a large family, and are trying to get through school as quickly as possible, seemed a pretty good deal to me.

how little did i know.

things collapsed pretty quickly after i finally got the degree. first, i needed about $200 for testing and fingerprinting and all that, and i didn't have $200. then i had someone willing to help pay the $200 and the economy collapsed. we still need teachers out here, they just can't pay for them. so now i have this degree that overqualifies me for everything except the one job i got it for - or jobs that also require 3-4 years of experience which i don't have, and i can't do that because there's no money to pay for new teachers and old teachers are being laid off, and here i am.

knowing god has a plan, i keep hoping i am where i am so i can write a book and get it published.

anyway, my loan amount is pretty high, 4 year schools do that. rack up the loan money, that is. it was a life saver at the time, but now, with me forced to defer payments every year, i wonder how much good they really did. yea, they kept me afloat when i needed them, but now the bill just keeps getting higher. if i do sell my book, the advance probably won't even cover my loans! (course, it should cover a few other things, so, at least something would be paid, if not my loans.)

i honestly don't think about this too much. things are as they are and they'll change when they change, you know? it's no so much being used to situation as just . . . dealing with it in the only way i can without getting depressed over it. that and i don't have the monthly reminder coming in telling me to pay $157 a month at the moment because of the deferment i do think about it, however, when i have to call and ask for deferment papers, like i did today.

i keep saying that one day it will be better, but sometimes i wonder if it really will be. seems like we've been here forever.

i'm ready to move on now. any time.


site of the moment:
oceanid.org

ring/clique/fl of the moment:
indice
word of the moment: illuminate

brightened with light; intellectually or spiritually enlightened; to enlighten spiritually or intellectually; to supply or brighten with light; to make luminous or shining; to set alight; to subject to radiation; to make clear, elucidate; to make illustrious or resplendent; to decorate (as a manuscript) with gold or silver or brilliant colors or with often elaborate designs or miniature pictures; one having or claiming unusual enlightenment

 
 

Since July 9, 2000

"Rhysa and the Dragon" © 2001 - 2018 by Amanda Penrose and created exclusively for Denyse "domynoe" Loeb; All Rights Reserved. Not be duplicated, copied, uploaded to another server, linked to, or used for any other purpose other than viewing while visiting the domynoes network and affiliated domains. In other words, it was made for me, I paid for it, it is mine, hands (and mice) off. This website has been optimized for 800x600 and 1024x768 monitor resolutions.

Graphics, Site Design, Content & Writings © 1999 - 2018 by Denyse "Domynoe" Loeb unless otherwise noted. Except where noted, all graphics and content created/authored by Denyse "domynoe" Loeb. Gifts pages copyrighted by their respective creators and were created exclusively for Domynoe. All rights reserved. Graphics, design, and content writings may not be duplicated, copied, uploaded to another server, or used for any other purpose other than viewing while visiting the domynoes network and all affiliated sites including domynoes.com, domynoes.net, alden.nu, dreamininink.com and dragyncat.com. While linking to individual pages are permitted, links must NOT hide the original URL or domain, may not be framed off the network, or interfere with navigation of the original domain. Graphics and other files may not be linked to outside the pages on which they appear within the network and associated domains. For more information, please visit one or more of the following: what is copyright | 10 myths about copyrights | u.s. copyright faq | u.s. copyright office | r.i.g.h.t.s. | no electronic theft. Special thanks to M. J. Young for help with this copyright notice.