2004. wow. last year went so quickly! i mean, really, where did the time go! the year went by so quickly. and it feels like nothing was accomplished. but i know there were things that got better. they may not be things i can hold in my hand, but they are just as important, some even more so.
a new year doesn't mean all new wishes and resolutions for me. in fact, i'd rather not make resolutions. i'm not very good at follow through on the long term. look at the exercise and weight loss debacles from the past couple of years. but i have dreams. pretty much the same dreams as last year, and the year before that, and, for some, the years before that.
i'd like to get published. this year i hope to finally have my first novel ready to send to agents. it'd be really nice to get it sold this year too. i have a couple of markets sending me "this isn't quite what we're looking for, but we really enjoyed reading it so please send us more." those are nice rejections to get. it's a step forward and hopefully i'll eventually find something they want.
i want to be able to support my kids. whether one of us has a job, or i've managed to get and advance big enough to create an interest earning account in which the interest can be my "paycheck" (yea, that's going to happen), i don't care. i'm just tired of the bill collectors, of paying the minimum on things like electricity, of having to tell the kids to ask their father for things like shoes. and i so want to have a birthday and a christmas for my oldest that's everything it can be, without wondering if it's going to happen at all, before my oldest moves out.
i'd still like to get my masters one day. at this point, little things like paying for transportation are impossible for us. and every person i've talked to has said the f.a. comes after the residency period. so, i'm pretty much stuck. the major things i need help with early in the process, transportation and residency fees, typically have to be paid in advance and i just don't have that kind of money without f.a. you can be smart and deserving of a masters degree, but if you're poor you're s.o.l. it's a sad world we're in. maybe if i sell my book i can pay for it, after the creditors take their chunk. it's going to be awhile.
so pretty much the same dreams right now. publication, survival, and personal growth/advancement. not big dreams, well, maybe the publication one. and hopefully, one day, we'll make them. it would be so nice to live comfortably, without worrying about survival. i don't want to be rich, i don't want to be famous, and i don't want any more power than it takes to make sure my family's needs are met and that we can get extras every now and then without having to out a bill or two on hold.
radiating rays or reflecting beams of light; vividly bright and shining, glowing; marked by or expressive of love, confidence, or happiness; emitted or transmitted by radiation; emitting or relating to radiant heat