i keep trying to write a new journal entry, but i want to write one that's not a rant or whine or one more entry complaining about my life right now. but. let's face it, right now life is not so good.
i'm mildly depressed,
a lot frustrated,
and pretty exhausted.
i'm struggling to keep us afloat, trying to ignore/dodge collectors who won't listen anyway, and struggling with everything from my finances to my self-esteem.
a happy entry may be a long time in coming. a job would help, for either hubby or me. being able to move out of this damn state would help.
not feeling like a failure would way help.
menopause is just adding to the mix right now: hot "flashes" (which aren't flashes at all, but extended periods of being too warm when everyone else is freezes their patooties off) and mood swings along with freaky periods - when i have periods.
one day things will get better, i know that. it's just tough when you're in the middle of it.
maybe next year will be my year and a story will sell, or the book will get picked up, or arnold will do as he promised and get things straightened out so i can start subbing, or saxy will get a job.