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i keep trying
wednesday, november 19, 2003


i keep trying to write a new journal entry, but i want to write one that's not a rant or whine or one more entry complaining about my life right now. but. let's face it, right now life is not so good.

i'm mildly depressed,

a lot frustrated,

and pretty exhausted.

i'm struggling to keep us afloat, trying to ignore/dodge collectors who won't listen anyway, and struggling with everything from my finances to my self-esteem.

a happy entry may be a long time in coming. a job would help, for either hubby or me. being able to move out of this damn state would help.

not feeling like a failure would way help.

menopause is just adding to the mix right now: hot "flashes" (which aren't flashes at all, but extended periods of being too warm when everyone else is freezes their patooties off) and mood swings along with freaky periods - when i have periods.

one day things will get better, i know that. it's just tough when you're in the middle of it.

maybe next year will be my year and a story will sell, or the book will get picked up, or arnold will do as he promised and get things straightened out so i can start subbing, or saxy will get a job.

something's gotta give, i just hope it's not me.

site of the moment:
the national book foundation
ring/clique of the moment:
shimmer
word of the moment: chrestomathy

a selection of passages used to help learn a language; a volume of selected passages or stories of an author


 


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