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no recovery
wenesday, april 16, 2003

sometimes i wonder if perhaps i have at least a little need for some structure. well, we all do to a degree, but i am a person who tends to not plan much for the most part. i like to know what's going on, but i certainly don't need to know a week in advance. a few days is sufficient. if i've got nothing at all going on, the same day can even work for me. i'd like to think that this kind of flexibility is kind of nice. if things come up that change what ever is going on, i don;t usually get too bent out of shape about it. there are exceptions to the rule (telling me i can;t go to the grad dinner i paid $50 to attend is likely to get more than a mild reaction), but, for the most part, i don't see a reason to let a little change in plans ruin my day. there are too many other, more important things to worry about.

however, i have noticed that do i get into a "groove" of things, a routine (for lack of a better word, since it is probably the most flexible routine around). i have things i do every day: check mail, check boards, write, and so on. some of these activities fall right around the same time everyday, but not always. and i have recently noticed that doing new stuff throws that whole routine out of whack.

take last week for instance. from thursday to sunday, it was almost nonstop, but none of it was nonstop the stuff i normally do. we were out of the house a lot and i came home tired. i didn't write, i checked mail late, and basically didn't do everything i would normally do in a day. by sunday i was looking forward to hubby being back at work if only to let things settle.

so this week he's back at work and guess what? i'm still doing nothing. oh, i check mail, i check my boards, but no writing. and forget the tai chi. that's new stuff for the routine so doesn't even factor into my day yet. and this lack of doing anything is also why i haven't written here in whysper for a few days. i think about it. i want to. but i end up not doing it.

it seems that having my "routine," as loosely structured as it is, upset for one week has made it difficult to get back into it. so, maybe i'm not nearly as flexible as i thought. i just don't seem to recover as well from major changes.

or maybe waiting for comments from the people who are checking my novel rough draft just has me all out of sorts.

site of the moment:
sakura kingdom

ring/clique of the moment:
word of the moment: compel

to drive or urge forcefully or irresistibly; to cause to do or occur by overwhelming pressure


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