what a week
wednesday, may 22, 2002


it's only halfway over, but it's already been a week. it started this past weekend and just seems to keep on going. there seems to be...is...too much going on for my poor, end of the quarter, about to graduate brain to handle. and not all of it has to do with school either (if i could be so lucky!).

first, after a discussion with dad, my oldest moved back in this weekend. the original promise was she could stay with dad as long as she got her grades up. well, dad has a swing shift job and isn't home in the evenings to keep an eye on the homework situation and you can just imagine what happened with all that new found freedom. her grades, already slipping, plummeted even further and now she's on probation at the school. she doesn't get her grades back up, she's out of the only school in the district with a dance program.

not that i'm thinking this may be a bad thing.

don't get me wrong, i want her to dance. she wants to dance, dancing makes her happy, and i want my baby to be happy! and in middle school this wasn't a problem. 4 years, no problems. after less than ONE year in high school dance she's been injured several times, and twice seriously. right now, as i type, dad has her at the e.r. waiting for the results on a head scan since this weekend she started experiencing headaches, nausea, back pain, and this morning was throwing up. a couple of weeks ago she fell and hit her head in dance. the way it's going, she won't get to dance as an adult, she'll be too broken up as a kid to make it. this has me very worried and upset. i called the school today and the athletics director tells me that the only person watching the dance program is the dance teacher. for some reason dance isn't under the purview of athletics, so the director doesn't watch the program leader like she watches her traditional sports coaches.

does anyone else see anything wrong with this picture?

this weekend we also took our household down to one pc. whether we sell the other one to get me to my mfa program or not, we're selling it. so the weekend has been one of starting to transfer files and programs from that machine to this and sometimes soon i have to reformat that machine since we can't seem to the virus that hit it off with norton's. anyone know how to reformat with winME? i have a 98s.e. start up disc i can use for the actual reformatting if i could remember how, and a winMe reinstallation disk (and i hope that has everything i need). (if anyone can tell me how to manage this, please tell me! it's been a looooong time since i've had to reformat anything myself and hubby lost our instructions. men! *rolls eyes*)

and then there's my somewhat selfish response to moving us all to one pc: you mean i have to SHARE? admittedly, the reasons we got me my own pc no longer exist, and i'm not using all the space on the hard drive, and since i will be taking care of the care and feeding of said machine (a very well behaved beastie, i might add) there's not as much worry about viruses, etc since i am absolutely paranoid. but, still...it's been my machine for 2 years and i didn't like sharing the one i had before because the more people you have one a monster, the more likely things are to start messing up. but, i am woman enough to admit that even if vermont turns me down, we need the money the old machine will bring in. plain and simple. the bills are piling worse than the homework right now.

as for school...my little encouragements to myself have petered out. my ring and honor cord are both still mia, the homework is piling and senioritis is hitting BIG time. i can't focus on what i want to do, so am preparing to be a teacher instead. of course, i don't really have time to spend on that either. but the whole homework, end of school things has me so tense i've started clenching my jaw, something i've never done before. i realize i'm doing it and stop, but apparently do it more than i know because my jaw is really beginning to ache. so, printing the standards, guidelines, etc and looking for and creating lesson plans has to count as my down time. and at least it does something semi-useful by getting me ready for my furture as a teacher. yea, good stuff, even if it doesn't seem like it now...right?

i need a break.

and i wish kitten would get home. :( i'm worried.