monday, august 13, 2001
full house

it seems summer has become a time of weekly updating rather than daily. life just hasn't been too busy for me. i write, work on my site, write some more, game, write, and so on. a lot of writing. and i really enjoy it, i am finding that my muse was right: take a break from the novels once in awhile and write other stuff, and the whole writing thing becomes that much more enjoyable and less stressful. (of course, she may just have needed a break from all the some old stuff too! lol hugs hun!) so all in all, a quiet summer.

but not all quiet.

we are having severe teenage problems with phoenixcat. she just won't stay away from the kids in the neighborhood, and now they've developed this signal thing to let her know they are out there. since the front gate slams constantly, having them slam the dang thing in the evening hasn't been much of an alert for us, but apparently it should be. i am at a loss as to what to do with her. i can't let go, as much as i am tempted to, i love her too much to let her go off and decide to hang out with mj smokers and gang bangers. and now it's come to light she actually likes one of these self-destructive little punks. now what? i don't know..talking to her hasn't dome anything, grounding her hasn't done anything. we're going to have her and taz change rooms now, although not just for the reasons mentioned above. we have an extra set of eyes, someone she trusts and loves actually, in the house now too. but what good does any of it do if she's determined to go her own way. does anyone have any suggestions at all? i feel like i am failing as a parent here and just can't seem to figure out how to fix it. everything i do only makes it worse, but 14 is too young to do let her go her own way and do nothing.

it's funny, her brother (who has a heck of a time with schedule changes) is taking a few changes in the house better than she is!

we have a very full house now. and may have one for some time to come.

a friend i lost touch with a long time ago has had some problems and is finally trying to get back on her feet, not an easy thing to do in her circumstances. des'tynie is a single mother who used to watch my kids when i was in city college. she got together with this guy who eventually turned out to be a drug addict and had a lot of other problems. he didn't like me, apparently, and didn't want her to see me again, so we've been out of touch for 2 years or so. during that time, her life just fell apart. yes, a lot of that was her decision, but a lot of that was his responsibility. he'd clean up just long enough for her to believe that there was hope, only for her to find out the electricity wasn't paid because he was using again. add to that, her ex-husband (and her son's father) was arrested for child abuse (not theirs, apparently, but the courts tend to protect all the children involved in a convicted abuser's case).

i am not completely clear on what happened, but eventually she, the boyfriend and her son ended up homeless. our local social services, being the crapheads they are, wasn't much help. when she finally split from the boyfriend, she ended up in a shelter, a supposedly good, well known, reputable one. but her physical problems were finally catching up with her. tests show she has tumors. her doctor gave her an off-work order which she showed to the shelter administration.

they gave her 72 hours to pack her stuff and get out.

i really want to post the name of these morons, being as supposedly reputable as they are and throwing this poor woman out because she can't work and her moneys from the state were cut while living at the shelter. she couldn't cover her expenses and couldn't save. and there's not one thing she could do about it.

apparently another lady was leaving the shelter at the same time. m used state vouchers to get into an apartment and told des'tynie that she could stay there. m never put her on the lease and managed to get her id and ss# to get the utilities turned on. neither des'tynie or her son were given their own room, all their stuff was shoved into one closet. buggs' dad bought food that m and her children ate. because des'tynie wasn't on the lease, the rental office kept returning her mail to sender, so she never got her state checks. the next thing she knows m is asking for $200 or for her to get out.

this woman (m) is obviously insane. the utility deposits that m wanted her to cover were at least $300, she didn't pay a dime to get into the apartment, but she wanted an additional $200 from des'tynie after only 2 weeks? plus ate all her food? when des'tynie said she hadn't received her state money, m apparently couldn't understand what the problem was..afterall she had received hers. m is the one who signed the lease, not des'tynie.

des'tynie finally had gotten in touch with us and spent the weekend over. it really was just supposed to be a visit, but then this woman m started threatening her: "it's on and crackin" if she doesn't get her $200. by sunday she was saying, pay monday or get out.

to make an already too long story short (yea, yea, too late), we made arrangements for des'tynie and buggs to stay with us for 2 weeks, but have since decided to see about adding them to our lease. we have one girl with her own room and a boy with his own room, so by hud rules they can. we just have to make sure they qualify (which shouldn't be a problem since she's practically destitute) and clear out a single cupboard for her food (so social services, should they come by and check, doesn't think she is feeding our kids).

buggs stays with taz and he loves it! he asks the girls to leave his room all the time, but hasn't asked buggs to leave even once. since the boys are sharing a room, we're moving phoenixcat into the smaller room and putting the boys into the larger one. that it will keep her away from the window where the neighborhood guys gather is a side benefit.

as for des'tynie, she could share my oldest's room but is staying on the living room couch. she does share the closet though.

yep. we have one very full house...and it seems a lot fuller with all the teenage hysterics going on of late.