sunday, august 5, 2001
from the children. dad, you need to read this. it was easier than them trying to talk to, especially jewel, who is far more sensitive than she lets on. we have tried to talk to you about this stuff and it's made no effect, so maybe this will sink in. listen to your children...
i don't like the way i'm being currently treated. when you visit us, you're supposed to spend time with us. not your stupid books and your internet and your female friends. i don't appreciate the way you treat april, either. if she says no, then she means no. she's got a boyfriend, and you
don't need to act like you own her, cause you don't. and you don't need to get in her face. first of all, there was no call for it, and it's not really polite anyway.
as for me and shebop and jewel and taz, i think that if you want to take to the movies or go over to your mom's, that's fine with us. but you've got to spend time with us. you can't just plop us in front of the tv and read a book or fall asleep cause you feel like it. you need to hug us and tickle us
and have fun. if we want to go to the park, take us and have fun. fun. do you even know how to have fun anymore? is fun talking to all the females on msn and in chat rooms? is fun reading the stupid book and falling asleep afterwards? does the word fun mean anything
to you anymore? yea, you're getting to be old, like everyone else i know, but we're not asking you to play horsey with us. even though i think taz and shebop would enjoy that lots. all we're asking is that you be a father to us. that's all.
i know it's hard, cause of the way you were brought up by grandma, but that doesn't mean you can give up. and we're here to help, you know. we'll help because we love you and we care for you. so loosen up, you know? kinda hang out, chill with a soda and a beach ball and be dad. spoil us, tickle
us, kinda do what daddies usually do.
that doesn't mean, however, that you scrounge up all the money you can get and fly us over to miami to meet a some woman you met on the web. california is just fine. miss miami can come here. *hehehe*
i love you, dad, i really do. but i need to let loose. remember, the key word is fun.
and leave april alone, please. she still likes you, i think, but just as a friend. stop pestering kevin to find out where she is. please.
Daddy, I don't really want to write this because it might hurt your feelings, but I guess I have to. It's hard on all of us because you supposedly forget things we tell you all the time. There's no reason to forget if we tell
you all the time. And when you take us to Grandma's or the park to supposedly spend time with us, you don't! Instead you read. That isn't acceptable, at least not for me. Books are irresistible, I definitely can't deny that, but there are times when we're not there that you can read. I love you very much,
daddy, But it's hard to show it because you don't spend time with us. At least try to find time with us and when you do find the time, actually spend time. That's what you're supposed to do. Please daddy,try. For our sake.
words and behavior by taz: dad, dad, dad, dad, dad...
how many times does he have to say that to get your attention. he tries to get your attention and one of us has to tell you to listen to him. you yell at us that you are right there. we know you are right there, but you aren't listening, you aren't responding. this is more than getting on
program with his behavior modification, this is responding to and interacting with your son, and the other children. that's more than money. that's putting the books aside and paying attention. it's more than hearing, it's actually listening.
taz stresses out when you ignore him. you left the house the other day and he said "bye dad. dad. bye dad." and you walked out without a response, and taz began humming. when you respond to him he goes back to doing whatever it was he was doing before you left.
the day you waited for me and your daughter outside the counselor, when we came home taz was despondent and didn't want to do anything, not even hum and spin. we asked if he was sad and he said yes.
we kept asking questions and brought up the spinning in the counselor's office and he said, "dad reading." he was a very unhappy kid. you sat there and read the whole time and just let him sit and spin. you know he's not to be doing that, but he needs other things to fill in that time. he doesn't
know HOW to entertain himself, that's up to us.
you've got to get involved with your kids. they need more than your money and church, they need YOU. DO things WITH them, interact, pay attention. like phoenixcat said, be a father.