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sunday 11.26.2000
all fired up

as of tomorrow i am officially off loa for the one online group i actively participate in. and i am looking forward to it. yes, i still have entire sections of my site to complete, and i need to write the next chapter for visions (ok, yes, i am cutting that one a bit close!), but i have actually gotten quite a bit done in my time off. i finished my net sisters dedication pages which is a HUGE section of my site, so i am quite proud (and glad) i got all caught up there before this christmas gift giving season begins. i didn't retype all my notes, but then i probably shouldn't have expected myself to. if i had i probably wouldn't be feeling as recharged as i do now. i'll get them all on disk eventually and have decided its no rush. i may be worried about my first quarter back, but i wouldn't remember anything i am typing now anyway. most importantly, my marriage is going well. we are communicating, and he's being the person he was when we first dated. he's getting along well with the kids most of the time (when we're not all sick at any rate), and has taken the initiative to implement a family movie night. and while this isn't just my accomplishment, it is an accomplishment that i am very happy with. we have done a complete turn around. i am very glad i gave him this chance.

so i really needed the break. time to recharge. time to do my own thing. time to work on my marriage. not that one month is enough, we will have to work on it always, but we at least got things in a better place than before. time to spend with my family. i really needed all of this. of course i could have done without the cold that seems to be hitting us all big time, but i would have ended up with that anyway. i spent more time off-line than i ever have in the recent past (since before i got my own pc), most of it voluntarily (with the exception of dsl nightmare week). there is life beyond the internet! amazing!

we're going to need the ties we are building now too. we have decided to put off saxy's job hunting in favor of getting his second knee surgery over with. it would be very difficult to have the surgery when starting a new job as it will put him off work for about 3 months, but waiting is a really bad idea. so doing it while he's unemployed seems to be the best solution. no new job to worry about losing and it gets something done he needs done. yes, we will still be struggling financially, although when i get my aid starting in january i should be able to cover the important stuff. and, of course, there's dealing with saxy in pain, but that will be a small price to pay if this helps him. after his last surgery it was hard to keep him down the first week like he needed to be, he was so ancy. so i already have an idea of what to expect this time around. and i know i will be very glad when he can go looking for work again, if only to get him out of the house! a man in pain is a truly sad thing to have to deal with. worse than a man who is sick. add to this that i will probably be stressing out over assignments and tests when this happens and we're looking at a real good time over here...NOT! but it needs to be done, the sooner the better and this is the best opportunity for it.

as for my online group, at least one of my committees seems well in hand, and i can see that the other two will fall in line fairly quickly with the leadership we have in there. i really lucked out with the ladies i am working with, they are fantabulous and are making me breath a lot easier about the whole thing. i have spoken to several of these ladies over icq quite a bit and they are wonderful ladies to know and great women to be working with. maybe the break just gave me a change of perspective. change of pace and space can often make things look so much better later. it was so hard to get much of anything done just before i went loa it was no wonder i was getting burned out and needed a break. many of the ladies working with me now have a great deal of self-motivation, which means i won't be doing it all. that in and of itself will help reduce future burn out. so to the wonderful ladies, who know who they are, THANK YOU! i can already feel the enjoyment coming back. and that is what being a part of a group like this is all about: enjoying yourself and having a good time.

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