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tuesday 09.19.2000

yesterday was just horrid and i am not sure i want to go through the nightmare of the day. trust me, it was awful. by the end of the day i just knew that anything i touched would fall apart, not work or get screwed up somehow. it was so very nice to have lakes hand me a project i COULD do and actually get it DONE, then to find my good-bye gift from seryn so i could put it up. take a peek: domynoe's dreams. that made the evening so much better than the day, that and we talked a bit. course today, i now know why i took everything so badly yesterday. pms is a bitch and i became one. today i am crampy, but in a much better mood for some reason. wonder men don't understand us. so you will all have to forgive me for not writing. ok, so most the rest of you understand, but a certain little bird can't go a DAY without a whysper. love ya masaka!

i am also starting to get deluged with all the annual paperwork from school. permission slips and all kinds of things have been coming in for signatures lately. sometimes i get the feeling they could send us a contract to sell them our kids and we wouldn't notice under the deluge of pta notices, party notices, field trip slips, internet contracts, minimum day notices, menus, school newsletters, and everything else that makes it to my computer table in a day of four kids going to school. one child is already bringing home the candy sale stuff. sigh. i don't let my kids sell candy around here. just not a safe neighborhood. so dad's work gets hit up for it quite a bit through the year. as long as they don't fire him for it i suppose we should be happy. but of course, each year the kids want one of the prizes that his work isn't going to be able to pay for.

today was a much nicer day for me overall. emce managed to borrow his friend's truck and come by for part of the day. he even took me out to breakfast, which was wonderful. i haven't really been out of the house all that much of it was nice to go and not have to do something like shopping. not that i have money to shop, but that's what i usually do. we spent part of the day working on stuff for my game as well, and i actually put some time in on the campaign. i have two and a half floors to finish and then the first dungeon will be finished. we're also considering a new game for a bit to give me some more time, one that goes into an alternate future for my world. this way we could also test out some other possible players. it's hard enough for me to find players anyway, but when you have to find players that your current group won't kill, it becomes nearly impossible.

in the saxy news of the day, work is making him crazy and he has actually mentioned quitting. he seems to think at this moment that he did better when he lived on the streets a few years back. NOT. he is currently not answering the phone...i am hoping he just went to sleep, if even a drunken one (not that i say he gets drunk a lot...i actually wouldn't know, but there are worse things he could be doing at the moment). i was going to offer an ear for him to rant at. i know when we lived together, he just hated some days over there. the woman who would ALWAYS do something wrong or forget to post something and a) not admit to it, b) never get fired, and c) manage to get someone else in trouble for it. then there's the drivers ho seem to think the dispatchers were made to be harassed with stupid stuff. i think there are entertaining moments at work, he just forgets them in the bad moments. today's gripe apparently had to do with watching what you say, even if no one important other than your fellow workers are listening. and i want to work here? (correction: need to work here?)

money is such a huge thing right now. i am getting hate mail from a number of bill people, but what can i do? everything goes to rent, utilities and food. with 4 kids, in california, i spend almost $400 a month in food, sometimes more, and that's with very few to no luxury items. so money is my biggest worry. i keep telling myself i can hang on and make it, but i see another bankruptcy coming my way soon at this rate. money is another reason yesterday was horrible, it started off with problems with money and those problems just could not seem to get resolved as quickly and easily as they should have.

another day in the life of a single parent....

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