there are two things i just hate about california. one is winter. it does nothing but rain and i am just not a rain person. being wet and soggy is just not my thing, even though i know we need the rain because by the time the rains hit it is just plain dry every where. but if it rains i do everything i can to stay IN the house and not go anywhere. the other thing i really hate about california is indian summer. things just start to cool off after over a month of 101+ heat (my only thankfulness is that is is a DRY heat), and we get into the 80's, maybe the 90's, then all of a sudden it shoots back up for two or three...or four...or five...weeks. this year it seems to have gone HIGHER than normal summer, hitting 108 the other day. ug. my poor little swamp cooler just can't handle those temps. and the fact that it dumps moisture into the air doesn't help either. so for the last few days we have been IN the house dying. then the kids want to go outside and all i can do is stare at them like they are some kind of strange creatures. considering one of them is 13, maybe they are.

we're also suffering from indoor flooding right now. looks to be about time to snake the washer line again as we are getting several inches of water in the laundry room every few loads. this happened a year or so ago as well. as long as its the line and not the washer, i am happy. i can't afford repairs on the washer, and snaking the line is part of maintenance's job. wish i could have them do something about the refrigerator. it is leaking into the kitchen. while it is a hud (the housing authority that runs the apartment we live in) refrigerator, they recently decided they are no longer responsible for refrigeration units. they will not check it, repair it, replace it or anything else. if i ever get to replace the sucker i honestly don't know what i am supposed to do with the old one. if i toss it, do i get charged for it? i really don't have room to leave it, besides which THEY would probably toss it. the truly sad thing is even with all this water, there isn't a swimming pool in sight. and i hate walking on wet floors.

saxy and i have been trying to maintain a friendship in our mess. we have finally decided that, for the time being, he just cannot visit here. he invariably wants to do more than just visit. and he just gets hurt...again. and with my empathy we both end up hurting so bad. it's not that i wouldn't hurt for him anyway, or that i stopped caring for him at all. i would and i do. it's just that i have no defenses for the empathy. there's no control for me. so even though i have managed to move myself along and feel comfortable with my choices, his pain leaks around all my defenses and makes it so hard, i want to make it better for him, even though i know i can't. so, we have determined that he just can't visit here for awhile. he swears he could handle me working with him though. well, we'll see. i am not too sure that they will hire me. *shrug* which would suck as there are no other hours i can work and no one else would hire me on such a restrictive schedule. i'd have to give them at least weekends and i can't.

of late i am trying to figure out how to fit visions of mind into my schedule. i decided to get the ten prewritten chapters into a note book rather than scattered all over creation. bad idea. my writing has fallen into the deep end since i became computer literate and my writing wrist tends to hurt after a bit. and now i am thinking a 3 ring binder may be better than a note book so i can redraft occasionally. chapter two is due in a few weeks and i haven't even touched it for the rewrite, too busy slogging away at chapter one. and i really do need to work in some rewriting time. the first ten chapters were written over ten years ago. i'd like to think i've improved since then. the good news is that all the subscriptions so far are my friends so they give me a little leeway. of course, this is also the bad news...no one else is interested in subbing. i suppose this should be no surprise. no one but friends is really interested in DominoDesigns either. one day perhaps i will become a famous author like d'plez says, and when i say "and i thank all my friends for their support" it will have true deep meaning. and for all those friends' info, the second subscription for visions is in the planning stages. there are two delays at this point: getting the game set up and determining subscription rates. the new sub will be weekly rather than monthly, but $4/ month is a bit much. i am thinking of maybe $2. but haven't decided yet. but be watching for the preview, hopefully coming soon!

in random news, i haven't paid any bills yet because...well, YOU tell me how to pay $600 in bills with only $160 in the bank! i really need that job i. we just can't make it on $950 a month. sigh. along the good news for the week: i am hosting a new domain. so i have 3 non-domain sites and one domain to my credit. not a whole heck of a lot of money over all, but its something. my honey is actually leaving stuff behind recently. ok, so that falls into the trivial catagory, but i take it as a good sign. and i have been managing to actually get more work done on my own site. i am amazed at how big domynoe's REALLY is. i didn't realize it was really that big. but i have most of it up now. the bigger sections are what's left for me to get on site: all my tsf pages, seryn, net sisters dedication (STILL in progress), and the web crafters guild. all things considered, i am pretty proud to be as far along as i am! you can view the most recent addition here.

time to go write other things...i am going to be working on silverhall and the game for the new sub today i think. anyone have a huge bottle of tylenol?