more changes coming up it would appear, but this is me so that's no surprise at
all. i can't seem to find a nice even stability that is GOOD. there was stability
with saxy, but i wouldn't say it was good stability, it just was...stable. perhaps
stability and being able to predict how the future will go is over rated. regardless,
i seem to always be surrounded by a bit of chaos, whether i want it or not, and
generally find myself in the weirdest situations. welcome to the days of domynoe's
life. soap operas move over, reality is moving in and much more interesting.
at any rate, it has been determined that one way or another i must find a job
that pays a consistent, timely wage. my hours would be monday through friday,
9 am to 2 pm. nothing else will work. when the kiddos are off track, dad will watch
them. i am not looking forward to that at all. not because he's a bad dad or anything,
but because he generally has less control over what's going on than anyone else.
i have certain things i try to keep consistent in the house, especially with my
son. there's just a way to do things. if we all do things the same way, then he
gets the idea that's how things are done and doesn't fight it. like going out,
for example. when i take him out, or his teacher takes him out, he holds someone's
hand and WALKS. when dad is going to take him out the kid is out in the street,
having opened the door and raced outside, before dad has even left the building.
so i can just imagine what things will be like at home on the days the kids are
off track and being watched by dad. however, dad is the ONLY reliable, available
person during school hours. since i MUST work, the options here are limited.
another problem has been WHERE to find employment. most of my area is NOT hiring.
we are so depressed that even hookers can't find work. (i will say that drugs
are running a generally decent biz though, from what i have seen in the area.
but i think that's practically a given in almost any city now). my hours make
it worse: they are not flexible and i can't do weekends. however, there is one
place that may be able to work within these strictures: where saxy works. from what
he says they need someone the hours i have available to answer phones and do dispatching.
i can answer phones. whether i can dispatch remains to be seen, but i can definitely
do phones. i have been told i have a good phone voice and i know i can work with
the public. the question everyone is asking is, can i work with saxy? i think so.
his fellow employees may not be too pleased with me at the moment, but then they
don't know my charming self either. i figure if they don't lynch me and hide the
body the first time saxy is either off or out driving i'm in the clear. saxy will get
his daily "fix" so to speak, i will have a job...may not be the best
job...may not even be the most comfortable job, but i will be making some much
needed extra money and hopefully do better on the financial end of things.
sometimes we are presented with choices that aren't choices at all.