beat up on domy day has ended in a manner so appropriate to the rest of the day:
heading downhill in a very bad way. it has been so bad i am sick to my stomach,
which seems to be my newest reaction to stress. i'd rather sleep. and i think
hell can do without me, but it seems quite interested in taking my life there
at the moment.
it began this morning. i did NOT wake up in time to get my son on the bus. fortunately
my second girl stayed long enough to do so, and still got to school herself, for
which i am very proud. i ended up sleeping the entire morning away and getting
absolutely nothing done. this doesn't even hold a candle to my afternoon.
i FINALLY get up and call the bank to check on my son's ssi. today is rent day.
today is the LAST day to pay my rent without an eviction notice landing on my
doorstep. imagine my distress when i discover taz's money isn't there! so
i call the main branch (not the local one), and THEY tell me the check was kicked
back because they have the account listed as a checking account when it is a savings
account. ssi stands for social security idiots. i swear it does. this is the THIRD
fuck up on this account. in january for some completely unknown reason the check
went to an account that had been closed for OVER A YEAR. i didn't authorize this
change. i have clearly given these people at the review all info pertaining to
the current account, which was the same account they had been using for the previous
year. so i get the location of the bank cleared up, go over ALL information again...two
months later they have the account number wrong. THEY have 444 instead 414. we
go through the whole horrid mess again, again clearly stating all relevant facts
about said account. this month, on a holiday weekend, when there is no one to
manually input the check into the appropriate account, the fact that ssi has the
account listed as a checking account rather than a savings account kicks in and
delays the check again. are these guys morons or what? i have now covered this
THREE separate times, covering ALL info pertaining to the account, and they STILL
don't have it right.
i am now in panic mode and go to the local office. i am in line for TWO FUCKING
HOURS while the idiot employees choose to take breaks, to chit chat in plain view
of the rest of us and not get any work done. while i was there...out of 8 windows,
the max ever opened was four...and one of those kept closing down and shifting
clerks. my back hurts, my ankles are swelling, my knees are declaring mutiny and
i am having a panic attack because we still have to get the money order and pay
the rent by what i thought was 4 pm. nothing will make you feel your age and health
status more than standing in line at the social security administration.
i finally get to a window, verify that my husband is now out of the house so they
don't count his income for the hardship check. then she calls the bank to verify
the check got kicked back because while the main office has a kickback on their
records, the local office doesn't. what does the bank say? it was deposited the
second and withdrawn the third. NOW i am hysterical. i was no where near the bank
on the third and you can't withdraw more than $300 from the atm anyway and the
amount withdrawn was more than that. now we're off to the bank and i can barely
breath. my ex, the father of the children who has called in late to work so we
can take care of this, looks terrified i am going to have a heart attack in his
car.
in the end of all this, the bank realized the dates given to the lady in the ssi
office were from AUGUST, found it in a pile of non-posts, did a memo credit to
my son's account and gave me a cashiers check to pay my rent (and very kindly
didn't charge me). the office didn't close until 5, so we got the money in in time.
i have a place to live for another month and hopefully NOW the ssi has its records
straight.
as for tonight, i have one thing to say to the person who i am going through another
kind of hell with at the moment. all i can say is this: i have missed you. i am
hurt by what has happened more than you can imagine. what was said here in whyspers
could never be said to you because we were not even speaking, and most of it hit
much later than that final moment that drove us apart. i can say this though:
while we each have our own responsibility for what happened that destroyed something
very special, it also appears we spent far too much time letting others step in
and make a difficult situation worse with their rumors and innuendoes and whatever
else. and we both have a responsibility for that. i am sorry.
