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wednesday 07.26.2000
exhaustion in motion

i have forgotten how utterly exhausting being a single parent can be, especially with my son who is, if anything, more energetic than he was as a toddler. the change in routine isn't helping either. for the most part the kids are good. happier, smiling more. the older two have been happily playing a math computer game whenever they can. they do most their work without much complaint (not sure if it is having c out of the house or the checklist that helped with that, but there you who work fairly happily). but the younger two...oh my gawd. just total buggers right now!

part of it i am sure is that they both need to go back to school. he is just plain hard to keep occupied in an appropriate manner without being over his shoulder constantly. and i do mean constantly. if the level of necessary supervision were on a 10 point scale he'd be around a 12. the minute you try to do something else, he's into something or spinning something and otherwise needing your attention. i don't want him to spin all day, he needs to be involved with the world, and i don't want him baby-sat by videos (especially since we won't have the tv for much longer), so i have to keep an eye on him. try to get him to go out and play, draw, do ink stamps, whatever i can. the older girls try to help with this, but it is very difficult with his temper and the hitting and biting of late.

one things about single parenting: you don't have a back up anymore to help support you or give you a break when it gets to be too much.

the little girl on the other hand is just plain bored. tired of her toys, can't sit and watch tv/movies all day (mom won't let her), and no local kids that any mother in her right mind would let a child play with and you got one REALLY bored child. her solutions? to bother her brother...repeatedly. or to get into everyone else's stuff. so i am after her as much as i am after him. and they get into it. they make my brother and i look like best friends and we used to get into bang up all out brawls!

now add to the mix the fact that i am trying to make myself keep to some "office hours" where i focus on running DominoDesigns and looking for work as a designer. this time will eventually also be used for school, but for now, it is working time. this is extremely difficult with 2 bored under 10s in the house. she can only play outside with the water hose for so long before she's had enough (although she asks everyday), and he just doesn't want to do much of anything. neither can i afford a sitter. heck, even if i worked a job that paid hourly i couldn't afford a sitter. not that any job will have me on my schedule. which is why we are trying to get disciplined enough to make this thing work at home.

school next week never looked so good.

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